The Depra King - BestLightNovel.com
You’re reading novel The Depra King 11 Fall: Love Warms The Cold; Hear online at BestLightNovel.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit BestLightNovel.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy
I tapped her on the arm, and she looked up, alarmed before sighing. "Oh, it's just you."
"Um, are you okay?"
She frowned, sighing again. "I'm trying to get to know you better, so I'm trying to act like you."
"Hey, I don't act like that."
She nodded. "Mhm, sure you don't." She gave me a sly grin before pulling on my arm. "Hey, let's take our time today, yeah? It's pretty rare of you to leave on time, so let's enjoy it!"
She's acting even stranger than usual, I thought as we started our normal walk to school together, albeit a slower paced one.
"Hey, are you sure you're alright?" I asked, and she started to poke me in the side.
"Aw, are you worried about me?"
I scowled at her playfulness. "Why wouldn't I be? I did say to rely on me, didn't I?"
Her regal purple eyes grew wide at my statement, and she quickly turned away, her hair covering her face.
"Hmm, I guess you did." She grew quiet as we continued to walk, and then she spoke again.
"I haven't told you much about myself, right?"
I frowned. Where was this coming from? "Yeah, you haven't, but I decided not worry about it. I just a.s.sumed you would tell me whenever you wanted."
She pushed her hair back, and I could see a smile on her face. "Oh, how brazen of you to a.s.sume I would tell you."
I didn't respond, and she pursed her lips. "No jokes?"
"If you don't wanna tell me now, that's okay too," I said simply, and she looked back at me, another shocked look on her face.
"You're amazing, you know that?"
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
She started to laugh, nodding to herself. "Yeah, if it's you, then maybe it really can work…"
I rolled my eyes again. "If it's you, nothing will go as planned."
She gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "Since when have you learned to joke around? I'm the jokester in this relations.h.i.+p!"
"And what relations.h.i.+p would that be?"
"Master and Servant!"
I couldn't help but laugh at her quick response. "Who's who in this situation?"
She shrugged. "I'll let you decide that one Mr. King!"
That reminds me of my training with Erebus a couple weeks back. I stared at the yellowing and reddening leaves starting to take over the trees nearby. It's been a little over two months since school started, and it was October now. Erebus continued to train by himself around school and would occasionally try to get me involved again. Luckily for me, Necessitas was always nearby, keeping an eye on him, although I think that's just cuz she wants an excuse to speak to him.
I sighed, bringing myself back to reality. "Can't we both be equals?"
She pursed her lips, crossing her arms in disappointment. "That's a cop out answer."
"An answer nonetheless," I responded, readjusting my backpack. I watched a leaf flutter down onto Pandora's head as she continued to walk next to me.
"Hey, you've got a leaf," I said, taking it off her head gently. I showed it to her, and a small smile appeared.
"I guess it's Fall now, isn't it?" She plucked the leaf from my hand and put it on my shoulder. "There we go, you have a new friend now!"
I blew the leaf off, and she gave me a light punch. "You can't just brush your friends off like that!"
(Coldhearted.)
I took a shaky breath as the all too familiar voice rang through me, and I could feel my heart hammering faster.
"Whabam!"
"Ouch!"
Pandora flicked me on the forehead, and just like that, the feeling was gone, as if it had never happened.
"You don't get to zone out with me around. Devote your attention to me!"
Her regal purple eyes were glaring at me, and I could only raise my hands up in apology. "Sorry, please forgive me."
"Nah, it's fine. I was just playing around, no need to get so serious." She continued, and I was left watching her hair, blazing orange in the sunlight, sway back and forth.
It was strange, but I felt mesmerized by her in that moment, and a strange feeling overcame me, one that I couldn't explain even if I tried…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"My dear Deppy, that's love~!"
Once again, I was in an unusual situation, this time with Eros. Long story short, he grabbed me as I was walking to the roof with Hiro during lunchtime, and took me to a balcony, where we were now eating lunch together. I didn't even know we had a balcony to be honest, but it was a nice place, overlooking a courtyard.
I was eating a salad covered in honey mustard with a bottle of water to drink while Eros was having cake along with a teacup filled to the brim with coffee to drink. I don't know where he got either, but I decided to ignore it for now.
"I highly doubt that. Who would fall in love with someone like me?" I stabbed some lettuce and meat with my fork and stuffed it in my mouth.
"Are you saying you are incapable of being loved?" Eros stirred his coffee with a stirrer, his warm caramel eyes trying to read my emotions. "Or you yourself are unable to love another, my dear Deppy~?"
I scowled, quickly swallowing my food. "Neither, I just think that it's foolhardy to fall for someone like me."
He let out a soft smile, sipping his coffee before letting out a satisfying sigh. "Oh, emotions don't work like that silly goose. Even if you know rationally that it isn't for the best, your emotions can lead you to do things you would never think to do."
I rolled my eyes, drinking a little of my water before sighing. "I thought you were a s.e.xual deviant. Since when are you adept with love?"
He laughed, sparkles flying around. I still haven't figured out how he does that yet. "I'm surprised you remember. Yes, I am a s.e.xual deviant in most circles, but I am also known as the Love Master in others."
I ate another forkful of salad, looking down at the courtyard below. There was only one person down below, and he looked rather nervous as he stood below a tree.
"I highly doubt it's love Eros."
He took a small bite out of his cake, looking down at the courtyard with me. "What makes you so certain? After all, do you truly know what love is?"
Do I know what love is? I clenched my hand tightly as remnants of last year tried to resurface.
(Of course you don't know what it is. In regards to being loved, well, we know how that worked out, and as for loving another, I can't say you know what it's like to love another.)
"My mother…"
(If that were true, then you wouldn't be all alone, would you?)
"No, that isn't…"
(If you were truly capable of understanding love, do you really think that you would be in this situation? Coldhearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d.)
"Well, would you look at that," Eros purred, resting his head on his hand as we watched a girl approach the lone boy beneath the tree. The boy looked up, nervous, and walked to meet the girl in the middle of the courtyard.
"What are they…" I mumbled out, unable to complete my question.
"Ah, this seems to be a confession. You don't see this too often."
I watched in earnest, surprising myself as I waited with abated breath to see the outcome. The boy was shaking slightly, and although we couldn't hear them from up here, it was pretty obvious what he was doing. The boy lowered his head after finis.h.i.+ng what he had to say, and the girl covered her mouth in shock.
A moment pa.s.sed in which it felt like an eternity, and I started to unconsciously tense up as Eros and I waited for her answer. And with a single nod of her head, she gave the boy her honest reply.
"What do you think Deppy? Is love really so far out of your reach?"
The same feeling that overcame me this morning, as I watched Pandora's hair sway back and forth, took me once more as I watched the two embrace each other tightly, tears of happiness falling from both their faces,
Could I really love someone, and they the same?
(And what makes you think you're deserving of love?)
"Do I, really deserve such a thing as that?" I asked meekly, my eyes stuck upon their warm embrace.
"Love offers itself to all my dear Deppy, so long as they accept it's warm embrace." I looked back into Eros' eyes, and it felt as if his eyes were starting to give off a warmth that I had long forgotten. "It doesn't care if you believe you're not worthy or ready. It finds it's way to us all, and although it may hurt sometimes, it gives back on that, no matter what you may believe."
Eros extended his arms, an unknown source of warmth starting to emanate from him. "All you need to do is give back."
I looked back down at the two below, both of them walking back inside the school, hand in hand with one another.
"Then," I started, swallowing nervously as I once more put in the effort for true change, "please, help me, Love Master Eros."
He winked at me, a single sparkle erupting into existence. "If it is what you desire, then I shall do my best, my dear Deppy~!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After school was done, I met Eros on the roof, where I was surprised to see another person that had shown up as well.
"Why did you drag me up here Eros? I'm not interested in your s.e.xual escapades."
"Oho, my wonderful Nyxy~, don't you know? I'm a Love Master, and I am here only as that."
It was Nyx, and she furrowed her eyebrows as she heard his words, sparkles flying around. "Huh, what's this about love? I don't really care for it to be honest."
As I walked towards the two, Eros took notice of me first. "Ah, my dear Deppy~! Purrfect~, we can now start!"
Nyx turned around and gave me a wry smile. "Ah, my fellow hater of nature and denizen of pessimism, how are you?"
I let out a similar smile. "Absolutely worse, but better." She gave me a small thumbs up in response.
"So, I a.s.sume that what you want to do with me has to do with Depra?"
He flicked his semi-long blonde hair back, winking at us. "I'm here to teach you about the intricacies of love, my lost lambs~!"
"How exactly are you gonna do that?" Nyx asked, crossing her arms. "I doubt even you know everything about love Eros."
"I'm curious too. How are you going to teach us?" In truth, I was very curious on what he was going to make us do.
He let out a warm smile that sent Nyx and I's faces aflush. "Why, by telling all the ones you love what you love about them."
I blinked, watched as sparkles filled the air, and then blinked again.
"Huh?" I couldn't help but be dumbfounded by his words.
He let out a jovial laugh, and another smile that sent my face aflush appeared as he walked closer to me. "First, a list my dear Deppy~."
"A list?" I managed to stammer out, as he started to approach me, his caramel eyes luring me in.
"Yes, a list. Who you love, what type of love, and why you love them. Yes, a rather short list indeed," he purred, gently raising my chin with his hand.
"Quit it!" And suddenly the sparkles were gone as Eros got dragged away from me by Nyx, who was glaring at him with her white eyes.
"I believe he said before not to do that," she said curtly, tapping her foot, her arms crossed once more.
Eh? Why did I feel like that? "Wait, I am straight right? Right?" I looked both at them for clarification, and Nyx sighed.
"See, only you could make someone suddenly question their s.e.xuality like that Eros."
"Oh, but Nyxy~! Have you seen him? He's so cute, I couldn't help myself again!"
"He lost all semblance of being cute a while back. No offense to you Depra, but you really do look like s.h.i.+t."
"Ah, yeah, I know," I said sheepishly, looking down at my ragged clothes and shoes. My greasy, unkempt hair didn't help either, it almost covering my eyes at this point.
I let out a sigh. "So, just a list? Is that really all?"
Eros nodded, his usual warm smile on his face. "Not just a list, my dear Deppy, but after you create it, you'll approach each person and tell them the reason why you love them so~!"
Ah, here was the catch. I have to tell everybody I love why I love them? "This is going to be really embarra.s.sing," I murmured, my eyes gazing down at the floor, my ears starting warm up just thinking about doing this.
I could hear Nyx sigh as well. "So, that's all we have to do?"
"As much as I would love to have both of you enact confessing scenes to the ones you're romantically interested in, love goes at it's own pace." I looked back up at Eros, who was nodding to himself. "So, don't worry about Pandora, Depra, and you don't worry about Hemera, Nyx."
"H-hey! It's not like that!" Nyx scrunched up her lip, glaring at Eros.
"If you keep waiting, you may lose her someday," Eros said, his normal aloof expression gone, his caramel eyes locked into Nyx's.
"Gh!" Nyx's eyes widened, and she quickly looked away. "Whatever, let's just get this over with Depra."
"Oh course, I'll lead the way! Follow me~!" Eros said, practically skipping past me now, his former demeanor now completely gone.
We followed him in silence to an empty cla.s.sroom, where there were two whiteboards available to use.
"Here, write the people you love first," Eros started, handing us two markers. "That's the hardest part for you two lost lambs~. Oh, make sure that they're easily accessible as well. After that, write what type of love it is, then the reasons why you love them. Oh, and we're not leaving until you two are done, so chop-chop~!" He clapped his hands as he said the last words, and I could only look down at the marker in disbelief.
How am I meant to do this? I walked to the nearest whiteboard, it looking as if it had just gotten cleaned off. What does love even feel like? I stared down at the black marker and let out a sigh.
"Honestly, when was the last time I felt love?"
I couldn't help but voicing out that ridiculous question. I guess I'll have to go back to my bases. My mom loved me, without a doubt. Okay, so how did that feel?
"Warm," I murmured, memories of her starting to come back to me. Yes, she was so incredibly warm, Kind, but always knew when to put me in line, constant hugs and teasing, and was always on my side, no matter how bad things got.
(But look how she ended up.)
I was snapped out of my reminiscing by the voice I loathed to hear. I sighed and shook my head, trying to block it out. Okay, so could that be a form of love then? Would that be what people call, Familial Love?
It was strange, but it felt right to call this feeling I had inside me Familial Love.
(All of that trust and love, and you betrayed her. She may have loved you, but can you truly say you loved her?)
I gritted my teeth, my nails starting to dig into my palms. What other love was there that I've felt? Before high school, what exactly was there? I decided to skip middle school, since that was basically h.e.l.l on earth for me. Even if there was love during that time, I doubt I would remember it.
"So that just leaves…" Elementary school and below. It was strange to say this, but I really don't remember much of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade, strange as that may sound. I wonder why that is…!
"It would be better for me forget! I can't, I can't do it anymore! I don't deserve such happiness when, when!"
Huh? I saw a girl with the hair of summer and soft blue eyes plead at me as I shouted these words. Wait, I shouted those words.
"Wait, what?" I said, my head starting to throb as I saw a group of kids behind her. But I couldn't make them out as the memory started to fade, and all that I was left with was a feeling I should've only had twice.
I collapsed to my knees, my head swimming as the memory and feeling faded away to confusion. What the h.e.l.l was that?
"Dear Deppy, are you alright? Was it another incident?" I looked up at Eros, and my head throbbed in pain for the last time before disappearing.
"Uh, no, I don't think so." Ugh, I feel drained all of a sudden. I shook my head, letting out a sigh. "Sorry, I just got caught up in an odd memory."
"Oh~? What was odd about it?" I looked into his caramel eyes and frowned.
"I couldn't tell you, but it was very hazy," I said, taking his hand as he pulled me back to feet. "But I'm fine, really. I'll get back to work."
"Mm, okay then Deppy~! Remember not to get to lost in your past, alright?" I nodded, and he left, going back to sit in his chair, where it looked as if he was reading a romance novel.
I let out a huff of air, trying to refocus. "Okay, let's try that again. What's beyond that?" Beyond Elementary would be…
I gasped as I remembered the feeling from so long ago. The pictures from Lachesis' house had shown the three of us. While we may have been young, I remember a similar warmth flowing through me as the three of played together, and that warmth stayed when it turned to the two of us.
"Yeah, that would Friendly Love, I think." That was the word I used to describe my relations.h.i.+p, and it felt right.
I took the cap off my marker and wrote on the white board, putting two categories: one for Familial Love, and the other for Friend Love.
"So, now I just decided if anybody I know belongs in these categories, I guess?" I honestly had no clue if I was doing it right, and I was pretty sure I was missing categories, but I think it should work for now.
"I never knew this feeling stuff was so difficult," I grumbled, and I could hear Eros laughing behind me.
"If feelings were easy to comprehend, they would be simpler to handle, wouldn't they?"
I hate that he's right. I stared down at the marker in my hand, wondering what to do next.
"So, maybe I should try identifying these feelings with people I know, if there are any." I had a feeling that if anybody was going to be on this list, they would all be on the Friendly Love category, since, well, I'd rather not dwell on that.
I decided to list off the people in my head. "Okay, so I'll start with Hiro." When I think of him, what feeling comes to mind?
I closed my eyes and tried to have my feelings guide my hand, and when I opened it, I shocked myself with my answer.
"Okay, so one down, not that many left," I said, and I continued through this process until I reached Lachesis. My feelings were just about to guide me to Friend Love when my hand stopped, another powerful feeling surging forth.
Huh? What is this feeling? I could feel my heart hammering faster as I broke out in a cold sweat. I could feel my breathing getting steadily unraveled as the events of last year rushed through me, and a warmth that was similar to Familial and Friend love, yet different all the same, flowed through me temporarily, and then a dark, cold pain enveloped me, making it hard to breathe as the voice overpowered me.
(You have no one to blame but yourself.)
No, I…
(Are you still trying to make excuses? You should know better than that. After all, from beginning to end…)
No, please, not again!
(Everything, absolutely everything, is…)
I can't…
YOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULT!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up on a bench, my surroundings considerably darker. I winced as I sat up, groaning as I heard some cracks resound within me.
"Oh, he's finally awake now." I looked towards the voice to see Nyx sitting in front of a whiteboard, a list complete. "We tried waking you, but it didn't work this time…"
"What time is it?" I asked, and Nyx frowned.
"Look outside," She said simply, and I did as I was told, walking towards the window.
It was completely night out now, and I could see the streetlamps on throughout the suburbs. I groaned, realizing what had happened.
"You were gone for 5 hours this time," she said casually, joining me by the window. "You really are trying to beat your record every time, aren't you?"
I couldn't even laugh at her joke. "Where's Eros?"
"He went to call Necessitas so she could pick us up in her car, since it's late an all. He said you should finish your list when you get home, and then we'll do the next phase of the plan tomorrow."
I nodded, biting my lip until it bled. "G.o.d-f.u.c.king-d.a.m.nit!"
She didn't say anything, and we gazed out the window for a while in silence, until my I couldn't take it anymore.
I turned around and shoved desks and chairs out of my way as I made my way to the door, a feeling a frustration taking hold of me.
"Hey Depra!" I stopped as I reached the door, hearing Nyx's words.
"It'll be alright, you know that? No one spends all their life in the night forever, not even denizens like us. Please, don't give up on us yet."
I opened the door and walked out, slamming the door behind me. d.a.m.nit. "d.a.m.nIT!" I roared out, slamming my fist on a nearby locker, my hand stinging with pain.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but never falling. "Is it really so wrong of me to change? IS IT WRONG OF ME TO HAVE HOPE G.o.dd.a.m.nIT!?" I slumped to my knees, shaking.
I can't give up, not yet. Not until I can prove that voice wrong. I got back up, my legs wobbling as I continued my way through the school. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!
I really can, right?
I was suddenly met with Necessitas by the front of the school, who seemed to be talking on the phone.
"Yes, it's gotten worse, more so than we imagined. I honestly don't-" she cut herself off as she noticed me approaching. "I'll talk to you later, alright? 'Kay, bye."
"Who was that," I asked, and she let out a small smile.
"Someone who cares is all. Where's Nyx?"
"She's still upstairs. Where's Eros?"
"He's in the car, waiting." She sighed as she readjusted her gla.s.ses and hair. "Anyway, wait here and I'll grab Nyx real fast, alright?" I nodded, and then she was off, leaving me alone in a dark lobby.
Through the windows I could see the moon s.h.i.+ning its light behind me, just barely missing me. It seems that even the moonlight doesn't want to touch me. I scratched my head, sighing.
"I'm so tired," I mumbled, making my way to a nearby bench. My body felt heavy, even more so than usual. I half-collapsed on the bench, letting out a sigh of relief. I could probably fall asleep here without much effort…
Before I could attempt it, I heard two sets of footsteps approach, and out came Nyx and Necessitas.
"Why didn't you just come with him?"
"He needed time alone Necessitas, and I wasn't about to stop him. Besides, the night looked lovely, so I decided to stick around for the view a while longer."
"Ugh," Necessitas groaned, rubbing her index finger and thumb across her brow. "I wonder where Depra is though. Maybe he went to the car already?"
"I'm right here," I said softly, and both girls turned to me, a brief look of shock pa.s.sing over their faces.
"Oh, I didn't see you. Why are you in the dark?" Necessitas looked a little bit relieved as she relaxed.
"The moon said no to me today."
Nyx let out a brief laugh before recomposing herself. "Come on my dark denizen, let's go home already. I've already spent too much time in this h.e.l.lhole."
I nodded before mumbling, "Sorry…"
"Eh, it happens. Sometimes we can't help ourselves, you know?" I nodded once more and followed them out the school, where Eros was sitting up front in Necessitas' car.
"Ah, my Dear Deppy~! Are you finally well?"
"I wouldn't say that, but I'm alright for now." I got into back and buckled my seatbelt, letting out another sigh.
"Has no one ever told you~?" Eros purred out, and I frowned in response.
"Told me what?"
"That every time you sigh, you lose a little bit of happiness?"
I let out another sigh. "If that's true, then I should have no happiness left in this life."
"Happiness, like love, always finds itself to those who seek it Depra, and you are no exception. You can seek whatever you wish, no matter how simple or trivial it may seem."
I wasn't able to respond to that, deciding to look out the window as the other two got into the car.
"I'm gonna drop Depra off first, if that's alright with the two of you."
"No problems here."
"Anything for my cute Deppy~!"
I spent the ride in silence, my emotions in utter turmoil after my incident. I simply spent my time watching streetlamps pa.s.s by, their light just barely unable to reach my face, leaving me in the cold darkness once more.
"Hey Depra, we're here." I nodded, not realizing we had already reached my house. "Oh, your stuff is in the truck, before you forget it," Necessitas added.
"Thank you," I said, and I unbuckled my seatbelt before getting out, walking to the trunk to grab my backpack. After grabbing it, I closed the trunk and walked back to the right side of the truck, where my house was.
"Hey Depra!" I stopped and glanced behind me, looking at Necessitas.
"Get some rest, alright?"
I waved her goodbye and walked into my house, kicking my shoes off near the front door before walking into my room.
Ah, I guess I have to finish my love stuff. I was about halfway done, so it shouldn't take me too much longer. I let out a loud yawn. Man am I tired.
I sat at my desk, turning on the nearby lamp. I grabbed a sheet of a paper from the drawer to my right along with a pencil, and wrote what I had on the whiteboard, or at least what I remembered anyway.
I got to Lachesis' name and paused, remembering what had happened before. I grit my teeth as made my choice about her and finished writing the rest of the people before yawning once more.
"Now the reasons," I murmured, my eyes starting to grow hazy from tiredness. "Let's hurry it up so I can sleep. Well, not that I'll get much rest tonight. Stupid nightmares."
I slowly worked my way through my list of names, my body growing heavier and my eyes hazier with every pa.s.sing minute, until finally, I was finished.
I checked the time on my phone, it now being past midnight. I let out another sigh before scowling, Eros' words coming back to me. d.a.m.nit, now I won't be able to sigh without remembering that. d.a.m.n you.
I turned off the light before getting in bed, snuggling up to my stuffed bear, hoping she would take the nightmares away…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come with us Depra!
You deserve to be here with us!
It's your fault, so you know what to do!
I could feel myself getting dragged down, deeper into the cold abyss, the dark hands wrapping around me, taking pieces of myself I didn't even know I had. I managed to rip and arm free and tried to climb up, and I could hear a chorus of cackling below.
Drag him to the depths!
As if he deserves to be free!
Take him, let's take more and more until there's nothing left, and then let's take some more!
Drown down here with us!
Despite my efforts, it all proved meaningless in the end, and I continued my endless descent into the dark, cold abyss. There was no light down here, no warmth, and certainly no life.
Drowning in this place is all I deserve, never getting better, always spiraling down, until it finally consumes everything I have left, if there was anything at all.
but… hear…
A voice so faint, I dismissed it as nothing but my imagination. The only voices down here were theirs, and they were the ones who dragged me to my everlasting d.a.m.nation, a punishment they chose for me; a slow, constant descent, never stopping, always happening, an inevitable end…
please…
That was my one and only fate…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day I showed up to school late, having woken up nearly at the end of the school day.
When I walked into the school, it looked as if the cla.s.ses were over. I guess I overslept again.
I made my way to the roof, where I was the first one to arrive. I sat down, watching students starting to wander around campus as the day was over. I scrounged around in my pocket, taking out the piece of paper with my list.
I sighed, laying down on the roof, staring up at the sky. It was strange, but even though the sky was blue, all I felt were the grey clouds.
I saw a sparkle dart across my face, and I glanced over at the now open door, where Eros and Nyx walked in together.
"Nyxy, should we go get our dear Deppy now~?"
"He may come on his own, so let's have some faith in him, alright?"
"But aren't you worried~?"
She scratched her cheek, frowning. "Aren't we all?"
I groaned as I sat up, and both of them stopped, their mouths making little o's as they saw me.
"I didn't mean to skip today, I just slept past my alarm," I said, tugging on my bangs. "I didn't mean to worry anyone, I swear."
They both glanced at each and nodded, a small smile on their faces. "Well, even if you don't wish to worry us, people who care will always care my dear Deppy~."
I got to my feet and nodded. "Guess you're right about that…"
I pulled out the piece of paper I had painstakingly worked on last night and showed it to Eros. "Now what?"
"Oh, don't show it to me. We'll gather everyone you wrote on that list on this roof, and then you'll tell them exactly what you wish to say," Eros said, pus.h.i.+ng it back to me. "Same goes for you Nyx, although I expect it to be shorter than dear Deppy's over here."
"I hate that you're right." A small smile came out, and a sudden urge to chuckle overcame me, but I resisted, but not without Nyx noticing, who gave me a sly grin.
"We denizens of the night appreciate jokes such as these. No need to hold back Depra."
"I'll try my best," I said, staring down at my list of people. "Okay, can you get the people on the list? There are a couple of people on here I'll have to do on my own, but it should be fine."
I folded the list so Eros could only see the names, and he accepted it this time, glancing through it. "Hmm, how interesting. Okay, I'll get the two of yours in a jiffy~!" And then he was gone, taking with him the sparkles.
30 minutes later, the door to the roof opened up again, and out came everyone on my rather short list of people.
"I've arri~ved Deppy~!" Eros said, raising his arm in a stylistic fas.h.i.+on. "It took some work, but it was worth it in the end!" Everyone I put on that specific list followed after him, and they lined up together, looking at me curiously.
"So, first we'll do Deppy, then Nyxy! Each person can respond however you see fit~!"
"Not the club activity I expected to do today, but this is rather exciting! I wonder what Depra will tell us," Prez said, looking at the a.s.sortment of people I had asked Eros to bring.
I walked to the end of the line, where Prez was. I fumbled with my paper, my cheeks aflame with embarra.s.sment. d.a.m.nit, I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
"Oh, I'm first? Alright, bring it on Depra!" She curled her hands into fists, pretending to fight me.
And why did she have to be first. I sighed, before looking down at my list, scanning it before I found her name.
"Okay, Prez, you ready?"
"Bring it on!"
I decided to outright say it. "I love you Prez!"
A moment of silence as I closed my eyes, my ears feeling as if they were on fire. After a couple of second, I opened one eye to see Prez's mouth dropped to the floor, her light-brown eyes gazing at me in absolute shock.
"Um, are you okay Prez?"
She blinked but was unable to compose herself as her face lit up like a candle.
"Eeeeeeeh!? Uh, um, listen, I, uh, I like you, and um, but I-!"
"I love you Prez, but as a friend would."
Another moment of silence, and then I heard a snicker from Hiro, who was at the end of the line. "Sucker."
Prez's face grew redder than a tomato as she heard his words, and she started to fidget unnecessarily. "Ah, of course! Jeez, don't scare me like that! Oh, this is really embarra.s.sing you know!"
"You're telling me," I murmured, glaring at Eros, who was smiling all the same. Still, I think this is the first time I've ever seen Prez embarra.s.sed before.
I cleared my throat, recomposing myself. "Anyway, I love you Prez because of how you manage to always bring excitement wherever you go. Whenever I'm with you, I never know what shenanigans you'll get us into. It keeps me distracted, and I'll always appreciate that about you. Thank you!" I finished what I had to say, bowing my head slightly.
She let out a hearty laugh, and I looked back at her, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Aw, thanks Depra! You know, I think I love you too! You always know how to bring the mood down!" She gave me a hug, squeezing me with all her might. "And you're always willing to lend a hand, no matter how tough things get, so I thank you too!"
I felt a warm feeling start to take root in me, and I hugged her back, squeezing her tightly too. Yeah, this was the feeling alright. The feeling of friends caring for one another, a feeling I thought didn't exist within me, a feeling of Friendly Love.
We released each other from our hug, our bond changing slightly, and I let out a small smile before moving onto the next person.
"Okay, next is Caelus." He gave me a grin, and he readjusted his sandy-blonde hair before crossing his arms.
"Hmm, I would have preferred a girl confessing to me, but it is what it is. So, I'm ready for you Depra!"
I nodded, gearing up for what I had to say.
"I-I love you Caelus!"
Caelus winced in pain, clutching himself. "Oh, it feels so weird hearing that from a guy."
"Think that's bad, think about how it feels for me." I shook my head, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"I love you Caelus, as a friend would, because despite your perverted tendencies that have gotten worse over the years, you've stuck by me, and helped me when I was at my lowest." He nodded, a slight smile on his face. "You've also recommended plenty of good stuff to me, so that means you're a true bro in my book."
"Hmm? What does he mean by that Cae?" Prez asked, tilting her head as she looked at him.
"Ehem! I love you too Depra, for putting up with our antics, even following along when you don't want to, especially with the idiot next to me." He nudged Prez, and she pursed her lips, glaring at him.
"Hey, I'm not like that!"
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Anyway, besides that, you're a true bro, especially after some of the stuff us guys did, well, you know what I mean. Bring it in my man."
We gave each other a quick hug, patting each on the back, and the warm feeling started to grow, filling my tired body. We released each other, and Caelus patted me on the shoulder before giving me a wide grin.
I nodded in response, looking back down at the list. "Okay, looks like it's her turn now."
I walked to the next person in line, who was none other than Necessitas.
"I can't believe I'm here right now," she murmured, looking down at the ground while messing with her hair.
"Well, I was shocked by a couple too last night." I cleared my throat, nodding to myself. "You ready?"
"Come on Necessitas, don't be embarra.s.sed." She slapped both her cheeks before nodding, looking me in the eye. "I'm ready."
"I, I love you Necessitas!"
She covered her face with her hands. ��Nope, I wasn't ready!"
Their reactions aren't making this any easier. I decided to continue. "I love you Necessitas as a dear friend of mine. Although I haven't known you for long, it feels as if we've been great friends for a long time now. You're the normal I need in my life, and I thank you for bringing it to me whenever you're around."
She slowly uncovered her face, which was a light pink now. "Mm. Yeah, I feel the same way. You're just about the only normal person I talk to regularly, so I have you to thank for my sanity. Your company is always welcome, so feel free to hang out with me anytime you want." We gave each other a brief hug, squeezing each other tightly before letting go. She patted my shoulder and nodded me towards the next person, a warm smile on her face.
The warmth had started to grow even farther now, my normally cold hands starting buzz as the familiar warmth reached them.
"Okay, after Necessitas is Erebus, surprisingly." I walked up to him, and he nodded at my words, his hand on his chin.
"But of course King! I always have to be next to my beloved Dark Empress!"
"I can't even be bothered to stop him today," Necessitas muttered from his right. "Embarra.s.s him greatly Depra!"
I let out a slight chuckle before clearing my throat. "Anyway, you ready Erebus?"
"Hmph, I guess I have to grace myself within the light occasionally. Very well, proceed, for this shall be of no challenge for me!"
I nodded, preparing myself. Okay, I'm ready. "I, I love you Erebus!"
He winced before dropping to one knee. "It seems I underestimated your power! As expected of our one and only King! Only you could bring me to my knees!"
You know, I think I'm the least embarra.s.sed this time out of all the other ones. "I love you Erebus as a quirky friend of mine. You're the opposite of your 'Beloved Dark Empress,' always bringing me out of my comfort zone, dragging me around on your adventures, stuff like that. It helps me be a kid when I wasn't able to, and I'll be forever grateful to you for that."
He managed to get back up to his feet, giving off the wickedest grin I've ever seen him pull off. "But of course! I'm glad to have your companions.h.i.+p on our travels together. Two is far better than one, and you're the brains we need in our expeditions. So, I guess as far as our friends.h.i.+p goes, I would indeed agree with on the fact that we love one another!"
He grasped my hand before pulling me in for a hug, patting my back before pulling back his lone red eye staring at me expectantly.
"I could ask for no better companion."
I nodded, the warmth now growing towards the tips of my toes and proceeded to the next person on the list.
"Okay, now its Hemera's turn now it looks like." I stopped in front of the cheery girl, who was all smiles as she saw me.
"Oh, it's my turn now! Ooh, I can't wait for it! Okay, I was born ready for this moment Depra, so hit me with everything you got!"
I nodded, winding up before becoming ready. "I love you Hemera!"
She squirmed in pure joy, so much joy that it almost felt like she was glowing with it. "Ah, I never imagined it would feel so good! Oh, I'm so happy!"
"You know, as I was making this list, you were one of the harder ones, you know that? You're too positive, you smile too much, laugh too joyfully, always seem to be laughing and having a good time, and occasionally I feel blinded just by being anywhere near you."
"Gh!" She looked hurt with every reason I rattled off, and I could hear Nyx snickering in the background.
"Serves you right."
I let out a small chuckle before continuing. "But, even with all these flaws you have, it's what I love most about you. I'm loathe to admit this, but being near you feels as if I could be just as happy and carefree as you one day, and that's why I love you Hemera, as a wonderful friend of mine indeed."
I think this was the first time I've ever seen her looked shocked before. And before I knew it, she was bawling her eyes out as she gave me a fierce hug.
"Oh Depra, I love you too! So, so, sooooo much! I'm glad I was able to help you, even if it was only a little bit! And even if you're all moody, you're still the kindest person I know, and don't you ever forget it!"
I nodded, hugging her back with just as much ferocity. Her hug caused my warmth to blossom inside, warming me up even more.
She looked up at me, sniffling. "Oh, I messed up your s.h.i.+rt Depra. I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's alright. I needed to wash these anyway." She nodded, giving me a tight squeeze before releasing me.
Through her tears, she was able to give me one of her radiant smiles, and this time, I didn't mind it as much.
"Okay, after Hemera is Aether." I moved in front of Aether, who had his normal stoic straight face on.
"Hmph, deciding to do me so late? Very well, I'll make an exception for you, so hurry it on up so you can get the other peasants out of the way."
I don't think the others took that very kindly, but they probably understand, right? "Okay, are you ready Aether?"
"I am always ready to handle anything."
I nodded before clearing my throat. "I um, I love you Aether!"
Beads of sweat started to form on his face, but his facial expression didn't change.
"You were also a hard one to figure out? You really didn't make it easy for me in the slightest. You're unbelievably c.o.c.ky, completely useless on your own, and the amount of times the others and I have had to save you is probably surpa.s.sing infinity," I paused, and watched as the sweat rolled down his face, his hands slightly shaking from nervousness.
"Is that so? Heh, it's because you don't see how good I truly am." Ah, if your voice wasn't quaking, I might've believed it.
"But," I said, continuing from my previous statement, "even though you have all these faults, even you have your good points. Your overwhelming confidence makes it so that occasionally, even I feel as if I can do anything, even if only for a little bit. And you're pretty funny when you fail at everything, so there's that as well. Despite all your quirks, there isn't anyway I could hate you Aether, who I love like a dear friend."
The beads of sweat faded away, and he looked rather pleased with himself. "Well, I knew that would be the only outcome. It's impossible for those below me to not fall for me immediately." He put a hand on my shoulder, his sky-blue eyes gently looking at me. "Well, even though I tend not to love those beneath me, I shall make you the only exception Depra. Only you are worthy enough to stand above the rest of these plebeians."
He gave me a brief hug before patting me on the shoulder, giving me a rare smile. "Yes, I think I can truly say I feel the same way Depra."
I could feel the warmth growing towards my ears, and they started to heat up, although it felt like a good heat, one that I could grow accustomed too.
Only four more left on the list now. "Okay, not it's, oh, hey mom."
It was Pinkie, and she looked rather happy to see me. "h.e.l.lo son, how are you today?"
"Slightly embarra.s.sed by confessing my love, but I've grown used to it, at least a little."
She nodded, pus.h.i.+ng her long pink hair behind her ear. "Alright, I'm ready for this! Bring it on son!"
I gulped, trying hard not be nervous. "Okay, you ready?"
She nodded again, giving me a slight smile.
"I, I love you Pinkie!"
She let out a wondrous smile, swaying back and forth. "Ah, that really does feel nice to hear son."
I looked down at my paper, hesitating. Was it really alright? I glanced back at Eros, who was giving me a thumbs up. "Okay, so, you were the hardest one to figure out Pinkie."
"Eh!? Why?" She tilted her head, pus.h.i.+ng her hair back behind her ear.
"Well, it wasn't because I didn't love you or anything. On the contrary, it was more of I didn't know what category to put you in. You give me head pats whenever I do something you like, scold me whenever I do something you don't like; honestly, you remind me of my mom in a way surprisingly enough. But, it's something more than that. You're a great friend, your arguments with Hiro are always hilarious, and I believe you to be too cute for a mom."
I could see her face reddening with every compliment I gave her, but I wasn't done yet.
"So, you're not family nor a friend, so this really confused my brain. I'm not exactly good with emotions, so I really don't know if this is allowed, but I made a special category for you, called the Pinkie love. So, Pinkie, I love you as a Pinkie would."
I turned around to Eros. "Is this okay?"
He flicked his hair back, sparkles darting off him in every direction. "But of course! It's your feelings, no one can tell you what you feel but yourself, and if you need to make up a name for a feeling, that is alright too. Emotions are fickle like that."
I nodded, glad that someone who understood how these emotions all worked was here. I turned back to Pinkie, who seemed to have recomposed herself.
"I see, I expect nothing less from my darling son. You always were like this, but it's a part of your natural charm. Well, if you love me as a Pinkie would, then I guess I love you as a Depra would! Yep, I love you and all your tired grumpiness!" She motioned for me to kneel down (she was only about 5 foot, give a couple inches) and once I did, she gave me head pats. "Good son, now come here!"
She wrapped me in her small arms, her head resting on my shoulder, and I proceeded to do the same.
"I really do care for you, always know that, okay?" Her words caused a new sprout of warmth to grow within me, warming my head. I nodded at her words, and she squeezed me slightly tighter before letting go.
"Off you go now," she said, sniffling to herself.
I got back to my feet, taking a shaky breath. "Alright, next up is you Hera, or should I call you dad?"
I walked in front of Hera, and he rolled his eyes. "Whatever, you rarely call me that."
"That's because you're never around for bonding," I teased, and I could hear Pinkie giggling next to him.
He crossed his arms, looking down at me (he was easily over 6 feet tall, although I didn't know the exact number). "So, I guess I'm ready."
I nodded, needing to mentally prepare myself for this one. "I, I love you Hera!"
His face grew pinker, causing his light-brown skin to redden. "Man, it's kinda hard to not be embarra.s.sed."
If only you were in my shoes. "I love you Hera, much the same reason why I love Pinkie. Even if you don't do your fatherly duties too much, when you do, it's always a lesson worth learning. But, as a friend, you're just as good, if not better than Pinkie. You're a real bro, even if you don't speak that much. So, I love you as a Pinkie would."
"Hey, that sounds weird son!" Pinkie exclaimed, her face bright red. "It makes it sound as if I'm confessing to him!"
"Hush, it isn't your turn anymore," Hera said simply, and I could see Pinkie growing visibly angry. But she held off, crossing her arms with a cute "Hmph!" before tapping her foot.
I had to resist the urge to laugh at her reaction, and Hera cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to reality.
"Well, I don't know how I feel about being in the same category as Pinkie, but I must say, I believe it suits what you're trying to say. I never really asked for this dad role, but I quite like you as my son. And as a friend, you're a part of the four amigos, so there's no one who could replace you." He pulled me in for a bear hug, and his strong pats on my back shook me to my core.
"And remember, if you need help, I'll be there." His deep voice rumbled through me, and the warmth inside me started to blossom, growing even more, touching parts of my body that I didn't even know could be touched.
He swiftly let go, patting me on the back. "Go on, you got too more left now," and he gave me a grin that showed off all his teeth.
I nodded, gulping as I reached the final two. "Alright, now for the last two of the group."
I walked down in between the last two people looking at them nervously.
"Hey, you left best for last, right Luna?"
"You're going to do both of us at once?"
The final two were the brother-sister pair, Luna and Hiro, and as usual, they were acting the same. Their banter would normally calm me down, but not today, since this was the most nerve-wracking confession I had yet to do.
I gulped as I shoved my piece of paper back in my paper, scrounging around before I found another piece of paper, this one with only five names on it.
"Oh, this paper looks different," Hiro noted, nodding to himself. "Okay, are you ready to get confessed too? It's your first time, so don't get too embarra.s.sed, alright?"
"Isn't it big bro's first time too?"
He cleared his throat. "Um, let's not go into details Luna. Let's just say I've had fruitful life experiences is all. Anyway, I'm ready when you are Depra."
Luna nodded in agreeance, and I looked back down at the paper. Was it truly alright? Would they accept it, the two in front of me? Most importantly, would (they) accept it?
There were no voices, no screams, just the pounding of my own cold heart. In the end, the decision was up to me alone, wasn't it?
I took a deep breath before exhaling loudly. "Alright, here goes you two." I looked back up at the two of them, their nervousness clear in their faces.
"I, I LOVE YOU, HIRO AND LUNA!!" I shouted this statement to the heavens above, proclaiming my love for the two of them.
"Oh man, it doesn't get any easier," Hiro said, his brown skin reddening.
"I don't think I've ever been this embarra.s.sed," Luna murmured, steam practically coming out her head from my love confession as she swayed back and forth.
"I, I love the both of you very dearly! More so than the confines of friends.h.i.+p could ever hold!" I couldn't back out now, so I let it all out now, my pent-up feelings.
"Hiro, I know you don't know this, but I have a twin brother you know."
That snapped him out of his stupor, and his expression now turned to shock. "You had ?"
I nodded, continuing. "Yeah, I did. You kind of remind me of him a bit, especially with how we talk with one another. And you, Luna, if I had a little sister, I bet she would act something like you, although she wouldn't be as cute."
It was Luna's turn to be shocked now, as she covered her mouth with her delicate hands.
"You two are more than friends to me, and even if we haven't known each other too long, to me," I looked them both in the eye as I said this, "I love you like siblings would, as I would love Hiro like a brother, and I would love you Luna as a sister."
I closed my eyes shut; the deed done. I was so nervous, I could feel the sweat coming off my armpits and face, and each second felt like an eternity as I unconsciously held my breath, waiting for their response.
"Huh, is that all?"
"I'm confused too big bro."
I looked up, it being my turn to be confused. ��Huh, what?"
They were both looking at each, confusion in their eyes. "Ah, I guess we never did say it too him, did we?"
"Should we say it now?"
Hiro grinned as his dark brown eyes locked with my own. "Silly Depra, we already knew that. You've been a part of this family for a while now. I thought that went without saying."
Luna nodded, holding her fists enthusiastically as she leaned in closer. "Of course, I have to agree!"
Oh. I could feel tears welling up as a new sense of warmth blossomed to my heart, the long chill over as it finally began to thaw.
"Hey, is it really okay? For me, for this to really be happening?"
I felt two bodies wrap themselves around me, and their warmth soaked into my very bones.
"I would've said if it wasn't, wouldn't I?"
"Mhm! You're my big bro now, so it's all okay!"
Ah, it seemed I was worried over something stupid again, wasn't I? I hugged the both of them tightly. This feeling of elation and freedom, the first I've felt in years, I never want to let it go, and I let out a grin, not a forced one; no, one that would cause others to smile in return just by looking at it, one that could be called a genuine smile.
I don't know how long I was in that hug. It could've been an eternity or just a brief second, but it was a moment I would never forget; the day I found love I thought I had long lost.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After Nyx had done her turn and everyone had left, it was just the three of us once more, Eros, Nyx and I.
"Well, that went wonderfully indeed~! I shed a couple tears at the end of yours Deppy. Although, you hid another list from me?"
I nodded. "Sorry, but I hid two actually."
"Oh, naughty boy~! Well, you must have your reasons, so I won't push. Just make sure those lists get to the right people, alright?"
"Yeah, I will. But before that, I still have two more people left." I cleared my throat as I pulled out my piece of paper.
"Oh, can't say I was expecting this from you Deppy~! Can't get enough of me hmm?"
Nyx was less reluctant. "Ugh, more embarra.s.sment. Fine, I'll deal with it just this once, alright?"
I nodded, preparing myself for my last two confessions of the day.
"I, I love you Eros, Nyx!"
Although Nyx's skin was as dark as the night, her face still went visibly red at my words. Same with Eros, although I think that was for a different reason.
"Mmm! Ah yes, I just love a good confession~!"
"Oh, it really doesn't get any easier, does it!?"
I chuckled at their reactions before continuing. "I love you Nyx, as one of my close friends. As a denizen of the night and fellow hater of nature, you are one of few who understands how I feel. I can joke with you without garnering worry from the others, and you do much the same. In a way, you're like my soul-friend."
Her face turned to normal at my words, and she gave me one of her rare smiles. "Ah, I feel exactly the way you do Depra. I love you for all these reasons and more, and I'm glad I have found a wonderful denizen of the night such as yourself." I smiled at her before continuing.
"As for you Eros, much the same as Necessitas, even though I haven't known you for long or talked to you very much, it feels as if I've known you a long time. Your quirky nature as a 's.e.xual deviant' is strange, but I'm glad for it, and the kindness you have shown me today." I bowed my head before continuing. "Thank you so much for helping me with the intricacies of love, Love Master Eros, and I hope you will continue to help me in the future. I love you Eros, as a near and dear friend of mine."
Silence, and I raised my head to look at Eros, whose face was even redder than before. It was hard to tell, but I'm pretty sure this one was from embarra.s.sment.
"Ah, Deppy, I never in my wildest dreams would've imagined such an impa.s.sioned confession from you to me. I can't say I'm not embarra.s.sed." He pushed his hair back, just barely composing himself before continuing.
"Well, I too, love you dear Deppy. You are a kind soul, and I wish nothing but the best from you. It's been truly an honor helping you, and I'll do it as many times as you need. I'm glad I have someone I can talk love about, and even help them further it, even if only a little."
And the three of us had a group hug, warmth flowing to all of us, warming me especially, my heart a tad warmer now.
We released, and Eros whipped out his phone. "Before I leave, your phone number so I can help my lost lamb in love~."
Nyx did the same. "Yep, we denizens of the night need to stick together after all."
I exchanged phone numbers with them, and as the two of them left, Eros gave me a bow, giving a grin on his aloof face.
"Farewell, and I hope to help you again!"
And for a brief moment, I saw a young boy with brown hair doing very much the same.
"For you King, anytime you need me, I'll help you to the best of my abilities." The boy looked up, a grin on his aloof face, caramel eyes gazing into my own.
"And that's a promise I intend to keep."
I blinked, and the two were gone, and I was all alone on the roof, the same feeling of warmth I once felt from Eros there once again, but disappeared as quickly as it came, leaving me with a slight headache.
I scratched my hair, frowning. "I really don't know what's up with that. It feels like…" I could feel something, but it was just out of reach, and then even that vanished.
"Whatever, let's go home already."
I made my way to the school gate, where I found Pandora waiting there for me as usual.
"You know, how is it you're always here before me?" I asked her, and she looked at me, a sly grin on her face.
"Oh, is that what you've a.s.sumed? Hmm, how cute."
Huh? "What, is that really not right?" I reached her, and we both started our walk back home.
"Not telling!" She said, winking at me as she held her hands behind her back, arching her chest forward as she looked at me.
"You're still a jokester all the way through," I said, a smile appearing on my face.
"Oh, did something good happen today?"
I laughed. "If you consider confessing something good, then yeah, I guess so."
"Oh, I see. Wait, what!?"
She stopped, her mouth agape as her eyes grew wide. "Oh, it wasn't romantic or anything. I had to tell a lot of people how I felt about them today, and I had to tell them what type of love I felt for them."
She sighed, holding her chest. "Jeez, don't scare me like that!" She gave me a punch on my arm. "Almost gave me a heart attack. Is that what you've been doing lately?"
I nodded. "Yep, these goofy friends of mine have been trying to help me on my quest for betterment."
"Oh, sounds neat! And, is it working so far?"
I frowned, putting my hand on my chin. "Well, as they say, I've gotten worse, but better I guess."
She nodded. "Yep, totally makes sense."
Eh? "How do understand that? It took me ages to figure that one out!"
She giggled. "Oh, it's just cause I know you so well."
"Whatever," I grumbled, and she giggled some more before there was comfortable silence.
"Hey," Pandora started, her hair a vibrant orange in the setting sun.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Was I on any list?"
I stopped, biting my lip. Pandora stopped too and turned to look at me. "Well, where was sweet ole me?"
"Well…" I started, trailing off as I started to get lost in my thoughts.
"What's up?"
"Well, it's not as if you couldn't go on any list, but it didn't feel right to put you on Familial, Friendly, or Pinkie love."
She scowled. "Pinkie love?"
"Both Familial and Friendly named after a wonderful girl, but that's besides the point. I had one more list, but only one person could go on that one. Yet, when I'm with you, I feel a similar warmth I feel with the others. I really couldn't understand, so I decided to leave it alone for now. I'm sorry."
Another sly grin appeared on her face as she quickly turned around, taking a couple of overexaggerated steps. "Oh, is that the case. Well, I guess I could let it slide for now." She stopped and stared up at the trees above.
"Hey, you like me, right?"
At this, I couldn't be embarra.s.sed anymore, so I nonchalantly answered, not really understanding where she was going. "Yeah, I like you plenty."
She nodded to herself. "And I like you quite a bit myself." She stretched her arms up to the sky, keeping me waiting for what she was going to say next.
Then, quite suddenly, she twirled back around to me and walked the few steps it took to reach me, getting so close that there wasn't even an inch of s.p.a.ce left between us.
"Then, do you wanna start dating?" Her regal purple eyes seemed to entrance me once more, but the question quickly took over whatever power her eyes seemed to have on me.
"Huh?"
She smiled. d.a.m.nit, she's so close, and why does she smell so nice too? No, stop it Depra, did she ask what I think she just asked?
"Well, when two people like each other a lot, they tend to go out with another, you know?"
I could feel myself getting mesmerized by her eyes again. "I-is that so? I really don't have much experience, except for a failure, but is that really right?"
"Well, I wouldn't mind if we did lovey-dovey stuff. Can you see us doing that?"
Pandora and I…? I suddenly imagined myself holding hands with as we walked and talked to one another on a possible date, and I could feel my face heat up.
"I-I guess I can."
Another smile. d.a.m.nit, why does she look so cute!?
"Then, lets do it! Wanna go on a date over the weekend?"
I was completely lost by this point, but I think I managed to nod, and she gave off the biggest grin I've seen her do.
"You mean it!? Great, I really wanna see that old couple again, so let's do that!"
I nodded, and she moved away, and I was finally able to put my mind to work. "Yeah, I need to tell them something important anyway. They're on my list you know."
She nodded. "Then it's a date!" She grabbed my hand and started to drag me along. "Come on, let's go home!"
I nodded, my emotions in complete disarray by her words. But, watching her drag me along, her hand in mine, I felt a warmth like no other, and it blossomed towards my frigid heart, warming it up a considerable amount.
I may not know what this feeling is, I thought as I was walking hand in hand with Pandora, but I think it'll be alright. That's what this feeling is telling me, that if it's with this girl, then I'll be fine. I let out my second genuine smile of the day, the most I've done in a long while.
And so, Love replaces Coldheartedness.