Paranoia : Split Self 9 Grief 1

On the WhatsApp, my mother was noted online since I saw her status online, she must have saw that too so she called me.

"Michael, do you any cla.s.s in Friday and Sat.u.r.day?" she asked.

"Yes, I have one in Sat.u.r.day." I replied.

"Can you skip it?" she asked again with the same tone of voice.

"I can, but should I? it's the Algorithm and Programming Cla.s.s which I am bad at Mom." I said since yes, I am bad in it, because I never touched anything related to it before collage.

"Michael, even your Aunt from Hong-Kong visited. You the one that is nearby should too." Mom said after a moment of silence.

Then I sigh because I know I should attend but I want to not miss any cla.s.s to begin with and I don't really like meeting up with new family member that I don't know.

"Alright, at what time I am supposed to be there?" I asked, it's good Sui is still asleep since I don't have to deal with her nagging right now.

I hang up the call before I plopped down on the bed and closed my eyes. Sui could be said me with a different way of thinking, but then I hear the question 'Isn't that the same as being another person?', I don't know, I don't know because even if i guess it, I would probably say NO but I don't know why and I could be wrong.

I always attempted to stimulate parts of my life but most of the time it turned outs wrong, like when I stimulated what I would talk about when I talk with my friend but I come out blank but when I do that I spew out a lot of things, not vomit. Now I stimulated how I would react to the death of maternal grandpa that I only met less than 10 times in my entire life, then in that instant stimulated how the corpse would look like, the mourning atmosphere, the crying, the burial and I come into a conclusion I wouldn't care, I hoped this time I am wrong again just like the usual.

This time the Sui who usually scolded me for doing this is asleep, Sui who always seem to have a smile all the time… except when she bullied and scolded me is asleep.

I packed my laptop, Silver Queen, Oreo, Phone, Chargers. Huh…Why am I even packing Silver Queen and Oreo, I don't know.

I walked down the stairs to the first floor as usual while reading novels, I called the ride and payed for it while listening to Music as usual, I rarely ride the train but I still stand and let the woman and elderlies or… just jerks who let woman and elderlies stand while I read my novels again, I order the ride to my mom's work place which her brother owned as usual too.

Then I arrived at the place and the moment she saw me she raised a high five and I complied. Then In the next moment she told me to cut my hair cause it's long.

I ride my mom's motorcycle there, to be honest she and my uncle doesn't look any thing close to sad. The moment I arrived on the barber my thoughts about that is cut short and I took the cut, then I went back I looked at my mother, sister, brother, it felt as if there is nothing wrong here.

We went back to my mom's house and we all took a bath before dressing in black clothes and it's a casual one, not the mourning one I usually saw in the film, is this how people really do that is real life? I don't know.

After I finished my brother, sister, and I finished taking the bath. Mom told us to wait outside and wait for the Gocar that she ordered. The moment we are outside, my brother played soccer with the neighbourhood's kid and my sister is just running here and there. I don't get it we just finish taking a bath and they are all sweaty again.

Me? I just stood there looking after them. Even so it's taking so long, already 30 minutes have pa.s.sed and there is no sign of the car with the plate number indicated in the app and Mom is still inside the house, taking a bath or just doing something but based on how Mom showed up when my brother make my sister cry, she seems to be doing something, yes… Something.

I looked at them playing and I wondered if this is considered a mourning atmosphere, looking at their bright smile, I don't think so, or they are just holding it inside so that when they see the coffin they will cry their heart out, many character in novels and anime did that.

Then I looked again at Mom who is speaking normally, scolding as usual. I questioned 'Are they even sad?' but I shouldn't decide that since I can't read someone feelings. Then what about me, me?, I don't feel that much of sadness or grief I wonder is it because I am not close to my maternal grandpa or I am just that kind of person.

I looked at the car coming from the left side of the road then I looked at the plat number on the app and looked at the one on the car, they matched. I hurried my mom, sister, and brother since the car is already here.

While on the way to the Funeral Home, Mom explained it to me that today, tonight they will close the coffin and tomorrow around 10 a.m. they will burry the coffin. Also, Mom said I will stay there to guars grandpa's coffin, I don't know why we need to do that but meh, since mom said there will be other men who will stay there too.

After that I put on the headset, listening to the music while watching my brother and sister fight again while my Mom is separating them and I am helping sometimes.

The Car then stopped before a gate with mandarin words that I obviously didn't understand, we went down from the car before walking in, before walking in Mom said for me to not play with my phone and put down that earphone, I complied.

I walked and saw the flower board at the side of the wall, saying their sadness or something about the death of my grandpa with the sender name or company bellow it. What is there use of that? And these things it looks like as if they are congratulating his death, with flowers and all.

I know that some flowers have the meaning of death or grief or something but these flowers have bright one, there is no way those flower means death or grief right.

I finally, saw the Funeral House and I was instantly dumbfounded, it wasn't the same as what I imagined in my mind and I slipped on my word "What the f.u.c.k?"

"Mind your words, Michael. We are at a Funeral Home." Someone said as they hit my head.

I looked up "Sui."