Wild Oats Part 12

_Sir Geo._ Me; ha, ha, ha!

_John._ Oh, he's yours! a chip of the old block.

_Sir Geo._ He is! he is! ha, ha, ha!

_John._ Oh, he threw his arms around her as eager as I would to catch a falling decanter of Madeira.

_Sir Geo._ Huzza! victoria! Here will be a junction of bouncing estates! but, confound the money. John, you shall have a bowl for a jolly boat to swim in; roll in here a puncheon of rum, a hogshead of sugar, shake an orchard of oranges, and let the Landlord drain his fish-pond yonder. [_Sings._] "A b.u.mper! a b.u.mper of good liquor," &c.

_John._ Then, my good master, Sir George, I'll order a bowl in, since you are in the humour for it--"We'll dance a little, and sing a little." [_Singing._] [_Exit._

_Sir Geo._ And so the wild rogue is this instant rattling up her prim ladys.h.i.+p. Eh, isn't this he? Left her already!

_Enter_ HARRY.

_Harry._ I must have forgot my cane in this room--My father! Eh!

zounds!

_Sir Geo._ [_Looks at his watch._] Just half after four! Why, Harry, you've made great haste in cracking your walnuts.

_Harry._ Yes; he's heard of my frolics with the players. [_Aside._]

Dear father, if you'll but forgive--

_Sir Geo._ Why, indeed, Harry, you've acted very bad.

_Harry._ Sir, it should be considered I was but a novice.

_Sir Geo._ However, I shall think of nothing now but your benefit.

_Harry._ Very odd, his approving of--[_Aside._] I thank you, sir, but, if agreeable to you, I've done with benefits.

_Sir Geo._ If I wasn't the best of fathers, you might indeed hope none from me; but no matter, if you can but get the _fair quaker_.

_Harry._ _Or the humours of the navy_, sir?

_Sir Geo._ What, how dare you reflect on the humours of the navy? The navy has very good humours, or I'd never see your dog's face again, you villain! But I'm cool. What, eh, boy, a snug, easy chariot?

_Harry._ I'll order it. Waiter, desire my father's carriage to draw up. [_Calls._

_Sir Geo._ Mine, you rogue! I've none here. I mean Lady Amaranth's.

_Harry._ Yes, sir; Lady Amaranth's chariot! [_Calling._]

_Sir Geo._ What are you at? I mean that which you left this house in.

_Harry._ Chariot! sir, I left this house on foot.

_Sir Geo._ What, with John Dory?

_Harry._ No, sir, with Jack Rover.

_Sir Geo._ Why, John has been a rover to be sure; but now he's settled, since I've made him my valet de chambre.

_Harry._ Make him your valet! Why, sir, where did you meet him?

_Sir Geo._ Zounds! I met him on board, and I met him on sh.o.r.e, and the cabin, steerage, gallery, and forecastle. He sailed round the world with me.

_Harry._ Strange this, sir! certainly I understood he had been in the East Indies; but he never told me he even knew you; but, indeed, he knew me only by the name of d.i.c.k Buskin.

_Sir Geo._ Then how came he to bring you to Lady Amaranth's?

_Harry._ Bring me where?

_Sir Geo._ Answer me. Ar'n't you now come from her ladys.h.i.+p's.

_Harry._ [_Stares._] Me? Not I.

_Sir Geo._ Ha! this is a lie of John's, to enhance his own services.

Then you have not been there?

_Harry._ There! I don't know where you mean, sir.

_Sir Geo._ Yes; 'tis all a brag of John's, but I'll--

_Enter_ JOHN DORY.

_John._ The rum and sugar is ready; but as for the fish-pond--

_Sir Geo._ I'll kick you into it, you thirsty old grampus.

_John._ Will you? Then I'll make a comical roasted orange.

_Sir Geo._ How dare you say you brought my son to Lady Amaranth's?

_John._ And who says I did not?

_Sir Geo._ He that best should know; only d.i.c.k Buskin here.

_John._ Then d.i.c.k Buskin might find some other amus.e.m.e.nt than shooting off his guns here.

_Sir Geo._ Did you bring my son to Lady Amaranth's in her chariot?

_John._ And to be sure I did.

_Sir Geo._ There, what do you say to that?

_Harry._ I say it's false.

_John._ False! s.h.i.+ver my hulk, Mr. Buskin, if you wore a lion's skin, I'd curry you for this. [_Exit, in a rage._