Jokes Book Collection Part V Part 16

Windows Tamil Edition.

Here Are Some Windows Commands In Tamil.

Close:Pothiko.

New:Pucchu.

Old:Palsu.

Replace:Itha Thooki Athle Athe Thooki Ithle Podu.

Run:Odu Naina.

Print:Printadi.

Print Preview:Paathu Printadi.

Copy:Vetu Kuthu.

Paste:Echa Thottu Ottu.

Paste special:Nalla Echcha Thottu Ottu.

Delete:Keesidu.

View:Lookvidu.

Tools:Spanneru.

Toolsbar:Spanner Settu.

Spreadsheet:Bedsheetu.

Database:Figaruthaangi.

Exit:Odra Dai.

Compress:Amukipodu.

Mouse:Mousu.

Click:Podu Satham.

Scrollbar:Inge Angae Alathadi.

Pay Per View:Dhudukku Bayascoppu.

Next:Appaala.

Previous:Munaagati.

Messages : Do you want to delete selected item?:Maiyalume Thukirava?

Do you want to move selected item?:Maiyalume Kadasidava?

Do you want to save selected item?:Maiyalume Vachukkava?

Abort, rety, ignore:Istham, Illati, Uttudu.

General Protection Fault:Gali.

Access denied:Kai Veche Keesiduven.

Unrecoverable error:Bada Bejarpa.

Illegal Operation:Bemani..Savu Grakki..Kasmalam.

Divorce.

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, do you hear me?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

14 Things.

14 Things Teachers Would Love To Write On A Student's Report Card 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. This student has delusions of adequacy.

4. This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. This student sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic sling to hold itall together.

7. Student has been working with glue too much.

8. When the student's IQ reaches 50, he/she should sell.

9. Gates are down, lights are flas.h.i.+ng, but the >> > train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's hard to believe the sperm that created this student beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

13. Your child is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

14. If your child had two brain cells, they'd kill each other.

Top 47 Oxymorons.

Top 47 OXYMORONS: 47. Act naturally 46. Found missing 45. Resident alien 44. Advanced BASIC 43. Genuine imitation 42. Airline Food 41. Good grief 40. Same difference 39. Almost exactly 38. Government organization 37. Sanitary landfill 36. Alone together 35. Legally drunk 34. Silent scream 33. American history 32. Living dead 31. Small crowd 30. Business ethics 29. Soft rock 28. b.u.t.t Head 27. Military Intelligence 26. Software doc.u.mentation 25. New York culture 24. New cla.s.sic 23. Sweet sorrow 22. Childproof 21. "Now, then ..."

20. Synthetic natural gas 19. Pa.s.sive aggression 18. Taped live 17. Clearly misunderstood 16. Peace force 15. Extinct Life 14. Temporary tax increase 13. Computer jock 12. Plastic gla.s.ses 11. Terribly pleased 10. Computer security 09. Political science 08. Tight slacks 07. Definite maybe 06. Pretty ugly 05. Twelve-ounce pound cake 04. Diet ice cream 03. Working vacation 02. Exact estimate And the Number one top OXY-Moron 01. Microsoft Works.

Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill was a quite a character. Here, for your enjoyment, is a bit of a description of him: (1) Seeing how rude Churchill was to his wife (and everyone else), a lady once told him, "Winston, if I was your wife, I would poison your tea." Churchill replied, "And madame, if I was your husband, I would drink it." Ouch.

(2) At a dinner a party, a (different) lady thought Churchil had had a bit too much to drink, and told him so: "Winston, you are drunk." Churchill's answer: "And madame, you are ugly. The difference is, in the morning, I will be sober." Ouch Ouch.

(3 and final) The famous playwright George Bernard Shaw, once wrote a letter to Churchill along these lines: "...I would be delighted if you could attend the first performance of my new play...You may bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill was not going to take that sitting down; his reply: "I apologize that I cannot attend the first performance of your play, but I will be happy to attend the second performance, if you have one."