Jokes Book Collection Part Vii Part 4

*CREAM*

Compet.i.tive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful!

You are trustworthy, and very out going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long long time.

*TEAL*

You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes.You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.

*GREY*

You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything thats inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated un eqaully. You can brighten up people's day.You know what to say at the right time, and you have good sense of humour.

*GREEN*

You get along well with new people you are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single waiting for the right person.

*GOLD*

You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going.

It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

*PINK*

You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts,and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.

*YELLOW*

You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leaders.h.i.+p towards relations.h.i.+ps. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming of romantic relarelations.h.i.+p.

*MAROON*

You are intellegent, and know what's right. You like to make things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble for not thinking about otherpeople's feelings. But you be patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better love.

*ORANGE*

You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people.You always have goals to reach, and are compet.i.tive. When it comes to friends.h.i.+p,you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.

*PURPLE*

You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily.

Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.

*LIME*

You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jelous easily, and complain over little things. You cant get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.

*SILVER*

You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying new things. You like to challenge yourself.You learn things easily, and like "Hard to get". Your love life are normally hard and confusing.

*BLACK*

You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.

*OLIVE*

You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.

*BROWN*

You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.

*BLUE*

You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pa.s.s by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.

*NAVY*

You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, its hard for you to forgive them.

*WHITE*

You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes thought highly by others.

*AQUA*

Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonley, and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and get lost in love easily, Sometimes get hurt by love.

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.

His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director. Picking himself up, he yelled, "What the h.e.l.l was that for?"

The director ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you##@!!*#!

My dad perished in that bombing!" "I am not j.a.panese, you stupid **~##!?*! I am Chinese!" "Yeah yeah yeah...j.a.panese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same", retorted Spielberg.

Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat to the floor. "What was that for?" exclaimed the director. "That's for sinking the t.i.tanic! I had ancestors on that s.h.i.+p!" the Chinese replied. "You ignorant c.h.i.n.k! The t.i.tanic was sunk by an iceberg!" shouted the director.

"Yeah yeah yeah...Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg,... you are all the same!"

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."

A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather well endowed, explained that it was a measure of intelligence, the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb. That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had seen his mother.

"I saw her about ten minutes ago, She was with a real dumb man, but he seemed to be getting smarter all the time."

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. This man came in, he was already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.

He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!"

The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused, because he was a bad a.s.s, and would fight at he drop of a hat.

The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad.

The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!"

The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "d.a.m.n it, grandpa, you're drunk. Go home!"

Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting.

During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, "Oh, that's my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call." So Bill lifts his wrist.w.a.tch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system.

I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere." The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, "Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call." So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, "I also have an emergency communication system.

But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth."