Jokes Book Collection Part Vii Part 17

15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never happen.

16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars,varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some household items).

20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.

24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus,train or plane.

29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

32. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."

33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty.

36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.

37. It's embarra.s.sing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.

39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including YOU).

40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.

41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.

42. You have drinking gla.s.ses made of steel.

43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

44. You have really enjoyed reading this mail.

WHAT DOES UR INITIAL STAND FOR?????

Does your name begin with: A .

You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pa.s.s any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relations.h.i.+p. You require loving, cuddling,wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.

Does your name begin with: B .

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an statement of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your statement of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appet.i.te & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

Does your name begin with: C .

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relations.h.i.+p. You require closeness and togetherness. You are a humorous person. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate you for who you are. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

Does your name begin with: D .

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly pa.s.sionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open att.i.tude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .

Does your name begin with: E .

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested s.e.xually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book.

sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

Does your name begin with: F .

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately pa.s.sionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

Does your name begin with: G .

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

Does your name begin with: H .

You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis.

Does your name begin with: I .

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even wors.h.i.+ped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of statement. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray.

Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than s.e.xual, but you are sometimes downright l.u.s.tful.

Does your name begin with: J .

You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. You could dance all night! You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head but as to being realistic it turns out the way you thought it out anyway, which is a good thing. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often and not let this 'having so many relations.h.i.+ps' one after the other, get to you. You will carry on long- distance relations.h.i.+ps with ease. You are idealistic and need to ! believe in love. You are undescribebly beautiful which shows why you have so many relations.h.i.+ps cause everyone wants a piece of you.

Does your name begin with: K .

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal your more 'secretive' self. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are a good friend.

Does your name begin with: L.

Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your statement of love and are willing to take chances, try new s.e.xual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relations.h.i.+p. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".

Does your name begin with: M .

You may appear innocent, una.s.suming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to s.e.x, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in.

Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

Does your name begin with: N .

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relations.h.i.+p, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally pa.s.sionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

Does your name begin with: O .

You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a pa.s.sionate, compa.s.sionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your pa.s.sions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

Does your name begin with: P .

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang-ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

Does your name begin with: Q .

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

Does your name begin with: R .

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

Does your name begin with: S .

For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring,sensitive, private & sometimes very pa.s.sive. You take your love life very seriously. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are a good friend.

Does your name begin with: T .

You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very pa.s.sive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely romantic. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, t.i.tillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relations.h.i.+ps fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life.

Does your name begin with: U .

You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

Does your name begin with: V .

You are individualistic, so you need that freedom, s.p.a.ce & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him/her 'tick'. You are attracted to eccentric and quiet types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense. You are very s.e.xy, sensual and pa.s.sionate. You are open, stimulating and very romantic. You get turned on by soft lights and romantic thoughts and soft music. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You dont fool around. You know all the tricks of the trade, can play any ro! le, or any game. You are kind natured at heart & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a dreamer with a pa.s.sion for life!

Does your name begin with: W .

You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relations.h.i.+p. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

Does your name begin with: X .