Jokes Book Collection Part Viii Part 14

9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?

10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

12. Even if they are starving, natives living in theArctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?

13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?

16. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?

ANSWERS

1. A coffin.

2. The child was born before 1776.

3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).

4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.

5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.

6. The word "and".

7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year.

8. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.

9. Nine.

10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

11. "one word"

12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.

13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.

14. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.

15. They were husband and wife.

16. Meat.

Are you in Love with someone?

Here are a few lines for you..............

Hope you like them.

If you like to get out from a noisy party and walk together outside only with her, you are in love with her.

When you are together with her, you pretend to ignore her.

But when she is not around, you might look around to find her.

At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to her.

Then, you are in love with her.

Although she was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of her safe arrival, your phone is quiet.

You are desperately waiting for the call!

At that moment, you are in love with her.

When you look at a group picture, you might rather look for her (to know who was next to her or how she looks like in that picture) than look for yourself.

Then, you realize that you are in love with her.

You have to hook out your telephone line for your busy study, but you can not do it for one phone call from her.

Then, you are in love with her.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from her than other many long e-mails, you are in love with her.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from her, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of her.

Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "She is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid her special attraction.

At that moment, you are in love with her.

While you are reading this mail, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with her.

The FBI was badly in need of top agents. They began a nationwide search of their active agents who showed great promise as prospective trainees for this position.

They found three candidates. Before training could begin, each candidate would have to pa.s.s a test. The purpose of the test was to determine whether the trainee could kill on demand, and without remorse. On the day of the test, the three candidates showed up and were placed in a waiting room.

The first trainee was then brought in and given instructions: "Here's your weapon, trainee. I want you to go into the next room and kill the person sitting there." "No problem", replied the trainee. He entered the room and, after a few seconds, returned and said, "I'm sorry, I can't kill that woman - that's my wife." He was dismissed.

The second trainee was brought in and given instructions: "I want you to take this gun and go into the other room and kill the person sitting there". "Okay", said the trainee. He went into the next room and then returned shortly. "I can't kill her, she's my girlfriend!" He was also dismissed.

The agents were getting nervous. They were down to only one possible trainee. So they brought him in and gave him instructions: "You see this gun? Take it into the next room with you and kill the person sitting there!" "No problem." The man grabbed the gun and walked briskly into the next room. "Blam! Blam! Blam!" Three shots. Then silence, followed by "CRAs.h.!.+ BANG! BOOM!". The man came out furious!

He said, "Why didn't you tell me there were blanks in the gun?!? I had to beat her to death with the chair!!!"

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Four-poster bed, 0 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined s.e.x.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vagetables, salads, quiche.

7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.