Mr. Pim Passes By Part 19

OLIVIA. Yes, you and me, Brian and Dinah.

GEORGE (_firmly, and taking her hands from his shoulders_). Now look here, Olivia, understand once and for all, I am not to be blackmailed into giving my consent to Dinah's engagement. Neither blackmailed nor tricked. (_Crossing to_ L. _below settee_.) Our marriage has nothing whatever to do with Dinah's.

OLIVIA. No, dear, I quite understand. They may take place about the same time, but they have nothing whatever to do with each other.

GEORGE (_sits on foot of table_ L.C.). I see no prospect of Dinah's marriage taking place for many years.

OLIVIA. No, dear, that was what I said.

GEORGE (_not understanding for the moment_). You said----? I see.

(_Turning and facing her_.) Now look here, Olivia, let us have this perfectly clear. You apparently insist on treating my--er--proposal as serious.

OLIVIA (_mock surprise_). But isn't it? Have you been trifling with me?

GEORGE. You know perfectly well what I mean. You treat it as an ordinary proposal for a man to a woman who have never been anything to each other before. Very well then, will you kindly tell me what you propose to do if you decide to--ah--accept me? You do not suggest that we should go on living together--unmarried?

OLIVIA (_shocked_). Of course not, George!! What would--(_pausing for additional explanation_)--the County--I mean Heaven--I mean the Law--I mean--of course not. Besides, it's so unnecessary. If I decide to accept you, of _course_ I shall marry you.

GEORGE. Quite so. And if you--ah--decide to refuse me, what will you do?

OLIVIA. Nothing.

GEORGE. Meaning by that?

OLIVIA. Just that, George. I shall stay here--just as before.

(GEORGE _rises and approaches her, about to expostulate_.)

I like this house. (_Crossing below_ GEORGE, _looking about the room to below settee_ L.) It wants a little redecorating, but I do like it, George... Yes, I shall be perfectly happy here! (_Sits on settee_.)

GEORGE. I see. You will continue to live down here--in spite of what you said just now about the--the immorality of it.

OLIVIA (_surprised_). But what is there immoral in a widow living alone in a big country house--with perhaps the niece of a dear friend of hers-- staying with her to keep her company.

GEORGE (_sarcastic_). Oh, and pray what shall I be doing when you've so very kindly taken possession of my house for me?

OLIVIA. You! Oh, I can't _think_! Travelling, I expect.

GEORGE (_indignant and advancing to her_). Thank you! And suppose I refuse to be turned out of my own house?

OLIVIA. Then, seeing that we can't both be in it, it looks as though you'd have to turn me out. (_To herself_.) There must be legal ways of doing these things. You'd have to consult your solicitor again.

GEORGE. Legal ways?

OLIVIA. Well, you couldn't just throw me out, could you? You'd have to get an injunction against me--

(GEORGE, _very annoyed, turns away_.)

--or prosecute me for trespa.s.s--or something. Of course I shouldn't go if I could help it, I like the house so much.... It would make an awfully unusual case, wouldn't it? The papers would be full of it.

GEORGE. The papers!

OLIVIA (_calling as paper boy_). Extra special! Widow of well-known ex-convict takes possession of J.P.'s house! Special! Special!

GEORGE (_angrily_). I've had enough of this. (_Coming to table_ L.C. _and speaking across_.) Do you mean all this nonsense?

OLIVIA. Well, what I _do_ mean _is_, that I am in no hurry to go up to London and get married. I love the country just now, and--(_with a sigh_)--after this morning, I'm--rather tired of husbands.

GEORGE (_in a rage_). I've never heard so much--d.a.m.ned (_bangs table_) ... nonsense in my life. _I will leave you to come back to your senses._

(_He goes out, up staircase up_ R.)

(OLIVIA _rises and crosses to centre, watching_ GEORGE _off. She kisses her hands to him, then turning to_ L. _sees curtains and work-box and extending her arms in ecstasy goes to cabinet, takes them up and comes down_ L. OLIVIA _sits on settee with curtains in her lap and places the work-box to her_ L. _on settee, and as she does so_ MR. PIM _enters from up_ R. _through windows and coming to_ R. _of writing-table taps it with his umbrella to attract_ OLIVIA'S _attention. She turns and sees him. He looks nervously round at staircase_ R. _fearing the return of_ GEORGE.)

PIM (_in a whisper_). Er--may I come in, Mrs. Marden?

OLIVIA (_in surprise_). Mr. Pim!

PIM (_anxiously and again looking round at staircase_). Mr. Marden is-- er--not here?

OLIVIA (_getting up_). No! Do you want to see him? I will----

PIM (_another look round at staircase and moving down centre_). No, no, no! Not for the world. There is no immediate danger of his returning, Mrs. Marden?

OLIVIA (_surprised_). No, I don't think so, Mr. Pim. (_Puts down curtains_). But... what is it? You----

PIM. I took the liberty of returning by the window in the hope of finding you alone.

OLIVIA (_sitting again_). Yes?

PIM (_still rather nervous and throwing up his arms in distress_). Mr.

Marden will be so angry with me, and very rightly. Oh, I blame myself. I blame myself entirely. I don't know how I can have been so stupid. (_Sits on stool_ L.C. _very concerned_).

OLIVIA. What is it, Mr. Pim? My first husband hasn't come to life again, has he?

PIM. No! No! No! (_Looking round to_ R. _and speaking very mysteriously across table_ L.C.) The fact is--his name was Pelwittle.

OLIVIA (_at a loss_). Whose? My husband's?

PIM. Yes, yes. Henry Pelwittle, poor fellow.

OLIVIA. But _my_ husband's name was Telworthy.

PIM. No! Oh dear, no! Pelwittle. (_Firmly_.) It came back to me suddenly just as I reached the gate--Henry Pelwittle, poor fellow.

OLIVIA. But really, Mr. Pim, I ought to know.

PIM. No! No! Pelwittle.