Just The Way You Are Part 32

"Sometimes I model them."

"Really? People pay money to take pictures of your hands?"

"Of course they do, a lot of money," Tessa said, setting down the knife. She got to her feet and stretched. "I'm taking a break."

"Fine, you go rest, and I'll do it," Alli said in disgust.

"I said I was taking a break. I didn't say I was quitting."

Tessa walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of mineral water she had obviously stocked earlier in the week-since Grams had never been partial to bubble water, as she called it. "I've never thought cooking was much fun."

"Do you only do things that are fun?"

"That's me. Fun and games. What about you, Alli? What do you do for fun? Oh, I forgot, you steal other people's boyfriends."

Alli set down the knife she was using to chop scallions just so she wouldn't be tempted to throw it at her sister. "You want to talk about it?"

"I didn't say I wanted to talk about it."

"Well, you brought it up, so let's talk about it."

"I just have one question. How do you look at yourself in the mirror every day?"

"I'm not as attached to my mirror as you are."

Tessa set the bottle of water down on the counter, her blue eyes blazing. "How dare you presume to know anything about me?"

"Likewise, and I sleep just fine, because no matter what I did to Sam, I didn't break his heart. You did that before he ever came to me."

Tessa's jaw dropped open. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that Christmas. He was going to ask you to marry him. He actually thought you might say yes."

"I would have said yes, and how do you know about that?"

"Sam told me."

"He wouldn't have."

"Well, he did. He told me that night before he got drunk so he wouldn't have to think about what you were doing with your modeling friends in Aspen."

"I certainly wasn't doing what you were doing with my boyfriend. And you were my sister, Alli. I knew you were capable of a lot of things, but I didn't think stabbing me in the back was one of them."

"How could I stab you anywhere but the back? You always had your back to me. I was forever chasing after you, because once we moved here, once you and Sam became bosom buddies, you didn't have time for me. I wasn't anyone to you. So forgive me if my sisterly instincts didn't kick in that night."

Alli felt the anger and bitterness of a lifetime rage within her. Her throat tightened so much she wasn't sure she could breathe. In fact, she had to hang on to the counter to stop herself from falling or, worse yet, flying after Tessa the way she'd done when she was a little girl.

"You never had any sisterly instincts," Tessa said bitterly. "You were a conniving little sneak, listening to my conversations, taking my clothes, wearing my jewelry."

"And you were a b.i.t.c.h," Alli burst out, no longer able to contain the anger within her. She wanted to hit someone or something. Her fingers reached for a weapon and closed around the pile of scallions she was about to toss into the stew. Oh, what the h.e.l.l, she thought as she threw them at Tessa's face.

Tessa shrieked and grabbed the nearest thing to her. It was the bag of flour. Before Alli could move, Tessa had dumped it over Alli's head. Alli sputtered and choked as the floury air surrounded her. Her eyes lit on the pile of oyster meat waiting in a bowl. She grabbed it and threw the contents at Tessa. Some of the meat splashed on the floor, and when Tessa tried to run, she slipped on the wet, floury tile. As she went down, she grabbed Alli's arm and pulled her down along with her.

Another second and they were rolling around between the counters and the kitchen island, tossing handfuls of flour and oyster meat at each other, until they were both covered from head to toe in the squishy, smelly mixture. Searching for new ammunition, Alli reached into the bag of oysters on the floor and started throwing those at Tessa.

Tessa ducked as the oyster sh.e.l.ls clattered against the cupboards and the floor. Any that fell nearby, she tossed back in Alli's direction.

"I hate you," Tessa yelled.

"I hate you, too," Alli screamed back, dodging as one hard sh.e.l.l came close to her face. "You were the worst sister in the world."

"No, you were the worst," Tessa said as she tried to stand up but slipped on the floor and landed hard on her right hip.

Alli gasped at Tessa's sudden cry of pain. "Oh, my G.o.d. Are you all right?" She went down on her knees in front of Tessa. "Did you break something?"

"I should break you," Tessa retorted, then her shoulders started to shake.

"What?" Alli suddenly realized her sister was laughing. Laughing! She tried to drum the anger back up again but as she stared into Tessa's flour-covered face, Alli, too, was struck by the ridiculousness of the situation.

"You look awful," Tessa said, pointing a finger at her as she collapsed in laughter.

"And you've never looked better," Alli replied as a laugh snuck past her own lips. "If your fans could see you now."

"I'd probably be out of a job." Tessa wiped a chunk of flour away from her eyes. "Ick. Do you remember that food fight we had with Dad? Mom was at the PTA meeting, and Dad made that spaghetti-"

"Which was awful," Alli finished.

"And he threw the noodle at the wall, and it stuck," Tessa said with a giggle.

"And then you threw a noodle at him, and it stuck to his forehead."

"We had so much fun that night." Tessa's laughter faded away.

"We did have fun." Alli felt strangely empty, as if her body had suddenly deflated.

"Not just that night," Tessa said.

"Not just that night," Alli agreed. She hesitated, then plunged ahead, knowing that what she had to say was long overdue. "I'm sorry, Tessa, sorry for seducing Sam. I know you won't believe me, but I regretted it almost instantly. I didn't just do it to hurt you, I did it because I loved Sam. And I thought it might be my only chance to have him. When you were around, he didn't look at anyone else. And I was crazy about him. I couldn't think straight."

"I thought it was just a crush, something you'd grow out of given enough time."

Alli looked her in the eye. "If I could take it back, I would, and not just because of how I hurt you, but because of how I hurt Sam. It wasn't fair to him. And it isn't even fair to Megan, because now she has two parents who don't belong together." Alli took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I've made a lot of mistakes. Saying sorry doesn't make them go away, but it's all I have to offer."

"I've made a few mistakes, too," Tessa said after a moment. "I shouldn't have stayed away so long. I missed time with Grams. And I don't even know my niece, who seems to be a wonderful little girl, in spite of all of us." Tessa leaned back against the counter. "I missed you, too, Alli. When it rained last night, I remembered how we clung to each other the night Mom and Dad died, and it hurt to know that we'd never be that close again."

Alli bit down on her lip as she struggled not to cry. She couldn't believe that Tessa had missed her at all. But why would she say it if it wasn't true?

"I miss the way we used to talk when the lights were out," Alli said after a moment. "I miss the way you used to play the flashlight on the ceiling, putting your fingers over it in weird ways to scare me."

"I don't remember that," Tessa teased, her eyes somewhat misty.

"Most of all I miss having you there to share a memory," Alli continued. "Because not even Grams was with us in the beginning. I lost my childhood when I lost you, because I couldn't talk about it to anyone who would understand."

"I couldn't either. And I wanted to," Tessa said, her mouth trembling.

Alli felt a tear slide down her cheek. "I did love you, Tessa. And I wish-I wish I hadn't hurt you so bad."

Tessa sniffed. "You're trying to make me cry. But I'm not going to cry."

"I've cried lots of times." Alli wiped another tear off her cheek. "When Megan was born, I remember waking up in the middle of the night in the hospital room, and I was all alone. Sam had gone home and Megan was in the nursery, and I looked out the window and I saw this incredible star winking at me, and I remembered all those times we looked at the sky with Grams, counting the stars, trying to decide which one was sending us a kiss from Mom and Dad. And I turned to look at you-but you weren't there."

Alli shook her head as the tears overwhelmed her. "You weren't there. You were my only sister, and I had a new baby, and I wanted you to see her, see how pretty she was, but you weren't there. And I missed you." Alli's voice caught, and she couldn't go on, especially when she saw that Tessa was crying.

Tessa suddenly scrambled toward her, putting her arms around Alli as they knelt on the kitchen floor. "I wish I had been there. My stupid pride wouldn't let me come back. I'm sorry."

Alli cherished the embrace between them, wis.h.i.+ng it could go on forever. But as the minutes ticked by, reality began to intrude along with the uncomfortable feeling of wet flour halfway down her back. She slowly pulled away. "Grams would have our heads if she saw this mess."

"I think she'd be smiling, glad we're finally talking to each other," Tessa replied.

Alli slowly stood up as Tessa did the same. They took a good long look around the room, realizing the extent of the damage. Well, some things didn't come easily or neatly.

"When Jimmy suggested we do this together all I could think of was that you and I would be alone," Tessa said. "I didn't know we were going to throw food at each other, but I had a feeling something was going to happen."

"Probably why Jimmy suggested it. He's a natural-born troublemaker."

"That he is," Tessa agreed.

"He appears very interested in you."

"He likes women; he likes to flirt."

"Seems like more than that."

"It's not. I know Jimmy."

"I'll have to take your word for it." But Alli wondered if Tessa really did know Jimmy as well as she thought. "We better clean this up before the guys come over. I think Jimmy would have his camera out in about two seconds."

"Make that one second," Tessa replied, reaching for some paper towels.

"I don't really want Megan to see this either. She still thinks I'm a responsible adult." Alli picked up a sponge and wiped down the counter.

"Sam thinks you are, too," Tessa said after a moment.

"What?" Alli couldn't possibly have heard her right.

"Sam thinks you're a responsible adult. He told me."

"He did?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Sam continually surprises me."

"Well, I have to admit that he's right. And Alli, I'm tired of our old fight. It's so over. Can we stop talking about it? Move on with our lives?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Deep down, Alli didn't know what moving on meant exactly in terms of the three of them, but she knew the next move belonged to Tessa and Sam.

"I'll get a mop," Tessa said.

"All right." Alli leaned over to pick up an oyster, and as she did so she saw one that had been split in two after hitting the edge of the dishwasher. Something glittered within it, something s.h.i.+ny and smooth. "Oh, my G.o.d! Tessa, come quick."

Chapter 21.

*"Nice car," Jimmy said, rubbing his hand over the smooth finish of Sam's Thunderbird. "How does she drive?"

"Like a dream."

"And you're going to sell this beauty?"

Sam nodded, feeling a momentary pang as he took a good look at the car which had been a part of so many of his memories. "It's time," he said shortly. "I could use another boat more than I can use this car."

"That's thinking practically."

Sam had a feeling that thinking practically wasn't one of Jimmy's priorities. "I guess."

"Can I sit in it?"

"Sure."

Jimmy slid in behind the wheel and smiled with appreciation. "This is very cool. Maybe I should buy it."

Sam instinctively tensed, seeing Jimmy and Tessa in the car, driving off with a laughing wave. It was the wrong image, and yet... He couldn't really see Tessa and himself in the car anymore. Instead he saw Alli asleep in the front seat after she'd spent the night waxing the car for a surprise birthday present.

He'd felt so incredibly touched by her gesture that he'd awakened her with a kiss. Five minutes later they were making love in the car. It had been pa.s.sionately awkward and fun; they'd laughed at the foolishness of it all. Because they had a perfectly nice bed just up the stairs. But wasn't that the way it had always been with Alli-pa.s.sion, recklessness, laughter, love? His body tightened at the word love, the word she wanted so desperately to hear from him.

"Uh, Sam?" Jimmy asked, snapping his fingers.

"What?" he said shortly.