Just The Way You Are Part 33

"Where did you go just now?"

"Just thinking about the car."

"Lots of memories, huh?"

"A few."

"Are you sure you can let the car go?"

He could let the car go. But how could he let Alli go?

"I'm thirsty," Jimmy said as he stepped out of the car. "What have you got to drink?"

"Let's see," Sam said, heading into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator. "Do you want a beer?"

"Sure." Jimmy deftly caught the beer can in one hand. As he popped the top, he said, "So, do you think Alli and Tessa have killed each other yet?"

"Maybe," Sam muttered, taking out a bottled water. He put the cool gla.s.s against his still hot, swollen cheeks. "I'm not sure leaving them alone was a good idea."

"They're sisters. They need to talk." Jimmy's eyes narrowed. "You should sit down. You still look blotchy."

"I'm fine," Sam said, but he did sit down at the table.

"What are you worried about anyway?" Jimmy asked, taking a seat across from him. "Afraid they're telling secrets about you?"

"No."

"You don't have to pretend they're both not in love with you. I have eyes and a camera. In fact, I brought you some photos. I'll get them."

Sam waited in the kitchen while Jimmy retrieved the photos from his camera bag. Sam wasn't sure he wanted to look at any more pictures of Tessa. Wasn't that what had gotten him into trouble in the first place?

Jimmy dumped a pile of photos on the table in front of him, and Sam was surprised to see shots of Alli. He suddenly realized how few photos he had of her, for Alli was usually the one behind the camera. In fact, she did her best to hide away when photographs were taken. But Jimmy had captured her every mood at work, at play, with Megan. There was joy, pa.s.sion, tenderness, and love in every smile, every look.

Sam drew in a deep breath, feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"Not bad, huh?"

"These are..." Sam couldn't think of a word to describe how he was feeling. Alli was beautiful. G.o.d, Alli was beautiful. He'd never realized.

"Stunning," Jimmy finished, catching Sam's eye. "Don't you think?"

"You're very good."

"I had the perfect subject, although Alli has no idea that beauty doesn't always come in shades of blond, does she?"

"No."

"It must have been hard growing up in Tessa's shadow."

"I think it was," Sam murmured, knowing he certainly hadn't made it any easier for Alli.

"I tried to give Alli the photos, but she didn't want them. I thought maybe you'd like to keep them-for Megan, if not for yourself."

Sam grinned at the irony of Jimmy's request. Phoebe had given him the box of Tessa's photos with the exact same words, and look where that had gotten him. "You have no idea what you're asking me," he said cryptically. "But yes, I'll keep them."

"Good." Jimmy paused. "So, can I ask you something?"

"Can I stop you?"

"Are you planning to take Tessa back?"

Sam tensed once again. "What's it to you?"

"I want her," Jimmy said flatly. "But Tessa seems to think that she can have you back. Can she?"

Could she? Sam didn't know what to say. "If you want Tessa, you should tell her."

"Oh, I've told her. But she's waiting for you." He paused. "You had Tessa once. Why did you let her go?"

"I didn't let Tessa go. She left me long before I left her," Sam replied sharply.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. "That's not the way she tells it."

"Well, it's the way it was." Sam left the room, stopping in the hallway to catch his breath, to gather his thoughts. h.e.l.l, that's exactly the way it had been. It was all so clear now. He'd blamed himself for destroying their relations.h.i.+p, but in truth their relations.h.i.+p had been in trouble long before he'd slept with Alli. Why hadn't he seen that before?

The front door flew open before he could come up with an answer, and to his surprise, two figures completely covered in white something came running into the hall. "What the h.e.l.l happened to you two?" he asked.

Alli and Tessa were laughing and crying and talking all at the same time, and Sam couldn't understand a word they were saying. "What? Slow down. You had a food fight?"

Jimmy came up behind Sam, raising an eyebrow at their appearance. "Nice look, ladies."

"Never mind us," Tessa said impatiently. "Show 'em, Alli."

Alli held out the oyster sh.e.l.l. "We found it, Sam. We found the last pearl."

Looking at the two women, whose eyes were lit up with joy, who were so in tune, so happy together, Sam had a feeling they'd found much more than a pearl.

Phoebe leaned back against the pillows on Sat.u.r.day morning, exhausted after her morning bath and physical therapy session. She wondered if she would ever walk normally again, ever feel the energy that had once made her shun caffeine for fear of running at a hundred miles per hour instead of her normal sixty.

"I hate this," she said to William, who always seemed to be nearby. "I want to go home."

"You will. The doctor said two more days. He wants you to get your strength back before you're on your own."

"Oh, piffle," she said, weary of the whole discussion. "As if I couldn't do this at home. I lay around and sleep half the day." He patted her hand, but she pulled it away from him. "Don't."

He winced at her harsh tone. "I'm sorry."

She softened. "No, I'm sorry. None of this is your fault. I just hate this place. I sleep all day, then I can't sleep at night, and it's so lonely then." What she didn't tell him was that she couldn't sleep because her dreams of John were growing more haunting. He kept going deeper in the water, and she could feel the water lapping at her own bare feet as he called to her with pa.s.sion in his eyes, in his voice, in his outreached hands-hands that he wanted her to take, only she kept waking up before she could take them.

She loved him so much, but the dreams were beginning to scare her, and she didn't know why.

"I'll stay with you at night," William offered, distracting her from her thoughts.

"You can't be with me twenty-four hours a day or you will wind up in here along with me."

"It would be worth it."

She looked into his comforting brown eyes and wondered for the thousandth time why he was still here. "You should go back to Philadelphia, William."

"I'm not leaving you like this. Once you're on your feet, we'll talk about our plans."

"Maybe you should make your plans without me."

"I don't think so. I'm going to get some coffee. Would you like me to bring you anything from the cafeteria?"

"No, thanks." She sighed as he left the room, wondering why he didn't go when he would be so much happier without her. But he refused to see the truth.

"Grams?" Tessa asked from the doorway. "Are you up to visitors?"

"Tessa, sweetheart, come in."

Tessa came over and planted a cool kiss on Phoebe's forehead. There had always been more distance between them, more formality, than between her and Alli, but Phoebe didn't mind. She understood Tessa just as she understood Alli. But there was something different about Tessa this morning, a sense of excitement that she seemed desperate to hide.

"How are you?" Tessa asked.

"I'm fine," Phoebe said automatically. "I think the better question is how are you?"

"Pretty good."

"You look it. What's happened?"

"Nothing has happened. I'm just happy to see you awake and talking. Your speech is better, isn't it?"

"It seems to be. I thought you and Alli might have found the pearl."

"When we do, you'll be the first to know."

Phoebe's heart sank. They hadn't found it yet.

And the Fourth of July was only two days away. "But I do have some good news," Tessa said quickly. "Alli and I have declared a truce on the past."

"That is good news." Phoebe gave a heartfelt sigh. At least something positive had come of her illness.

"I feel like we can all move on now."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure exactly."

Phoebe saw the nervous light in Tessa's eyes, the restless fidgeting of her fingers against her side, and knew Tessa hadn't begun to move on, as she called it. "Do you still love Sam?"

Tessa cast a quick look at the door, as if she were afraid someone was listening. Once she could see they were alone, she took the chair next to the bed.

"I think I do, Grams. I think that's why I haven't been able to get serious about anyone else."

"Oh, Tessa."

"I want what you and Grandpa had, a strong, enduring love and marriage."

"With Sam."

"Yes. And before you say anything, I'm not trying to break up Sam and Alli. They were broken up before I got here. You know I wouldn't do anything to get Sam if they were still together."

"Of course you wouldn't." Phoebe looked up as William came back in the room. He stopped when he saw Tessa.

"Good morning, Tessa," he said.

"Good morning."

"Don't get up. I forgot my newspaper. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"He's devoted to you," Tessa said with a smile. "Do you know how much he loves you?"

"How much or how little?"

"What do you mean?" Tessa asked in surprise.

How could Phoebe explain it? And yet she had to explain it, because it suddenly occurred to her that Tessa and William had something in common. "William believes that my parents forced me to marry your grandfather because of money and business connections. While it was true that they wanted the marriage, it was also true that when I met John MacGuire I fell in love with him. John took me on a wonderful adventure. He freed my spirit, Tessa. He made me see that I could be the woman I was meant to be. We had a wonderful life together. He was my soul mate."

"You were lucky."

"I was lucky. But William always thought that if I hadn't been forced to marry John, I would have married him. He believed that his lack of money and social standing had made him unworthy, so he spent the rest of his life ama.s.sing money and power. He married twice, had a son, but never felt happy."

"Because he's in love with you."

"No. He's in love with the girl that he thought I was." Phoebe took a breath. "He has asked me to marry him. To move to Philadelphia."

Tessa was shocked. "You love the sea. You love this town."

"Yes, I do. But William doesn't understand. He only remembers who I was that one summer when we were close. He's been stuck there like a broken record going around and around. And no matter what I say he can't see the truth. I love him as a friend, but not as a husband. I know I encouraged him the last few years because I was lonely. That was wrong of me. Because William deserves a true love. And I already gave my love to John."

"That's so sad, Grams. William is a nice man."

"A very nice man. I wish I could love him the way he wants, but I can't."

"Why are you telling me this?" Tessa asked.