Unleashing The Power Of Rubber Bands Part 8

RECENTLY I HEARD SOMEONE say that when the change on theoutside of your organization is greater than the change on the inside of it, you are in trouble. say that when the change on theoutside of your organization is greater than the change on the inside of it, you are in trouble.

Uh-oh.

If you are a leader, you know that change is a constant, and leading through and to change may be one of the most important and difficult things you do. The problem is that for most people, change ranks right up there next to public speaking and having your toenails removed with pliers. Not everyone, mind you, but most.

So one of the most precarious and delicate dances leaders must do is to discern which areas within their organizations are most in need of change-and how much-while at the same time balancing the capacity within the organizations to a.s.similate and gravitatetoward that change. We have all seen leaders who did too much changing too quickly, blowing up their organizations with their lack of finesse and inability to pace well. We have also seen leaders who never did more than make slight variations on what already existed, and then stood by helplessly as the organization lost its effectiveness and imploded.

Trying to avoid both of those scenarios will drive you crazy. If an equation existed that would direct you to that elusive middle ground, someone would have published it. It doesn't exist. Leaders.h.i.+p is an art (Max DePree said and wrote that).

Leaders.h.i.+p is an art.

-Max DePree Change builds on the past. It asks the question "What has led us up to today?" and finds authentic waysto honor what is behind us. It understands and does not underestimate the role of the past in shaping the future. With clear eyes, changediscerns the problems and dysfunctions of the past, but with those same eyes it also sees with great appreciation the best of the past-those things that have provided the very foundation on which you currently stand. It asks the question "What has led us up to today?" and finds authentic waysto honor what is behind us. It understands and does not underestimate the role of the past in shaping the future. With clear eyes, changediscerns the problems and dysfunctions of the past, but with those same eyes it also sees with great appreciation the best of the past-those things that have provided the very foundation on which you currently stand.

The past holds obstacles, often through a romanticizedview of "the way it was" or in the words "we've never done it that way before." But the past also holds promise. Looking back, we can see with clarity the values that must not change even when the practices do. In the past, we find roots for our changing methods and expressions. We discover opportunities to express our admiration for those who lived the past and rea.s.sure them that we are building on the best of it, not ignoring or neglecting it.

Change lives in the reality of the present. As we saw in the "Stone s.h.i.+ps" chapter, the first job of a leader is to define the current reality. Sounds simple enough, but actually it takes a great deal of courage to do. Almost no one wants to hear your definition of reality. Living in the past or in a comfortably distorted view of the present is oddly preferable. The reality of the present includes the truth about where we currently are and whether or not we currently have the right team to move us into the future. What are our strengths and weaknesses? Where are we failing? Where are we succeeding? How do we define both of these things so that they mean something? As we saw in the "Stone s.h.i.+ps" chapter, the first job of a leader is to define the current reality. Sounds simple enough, but actually it takes a great deal of courage to do. Almost no one wants to hear your definition of reality. Living in the past or in a comfortably distorted view of the present is oddly preferable. The reality of the present includes the truth about where we currently are and whether or not we currently have the right team to move us into the future. What are our strengths and weaknesses? Where are we failing? Where are we succeeding? How do we define both of these things so that they mean something?

Defining present reality requires painful diagnostics that show us where to direct our energy and attention. Defining present reality is the "you are here" point on the map. Every journey into the future needs a starting place. Defining present reality is a collaborative conversation that results in getting everyone pointed in the same direction.

Change sketches out the future. At first, it's just a vague outline, but with enough definition that our hearts beat a little faster and we wonder together if it just might be possible. Over time, the outline becomes clearer and begins to shape the horizons, as we imagine what might be and see progress toward that distant shape. The opportunities and possibilities are so breathtaking that they scare us a bit, but they also compel us. The future is only motivating when it promises more and better and different and relevant and new and fresh. Change brings those gifts. At first, it's just a vague outline, but with enough definition that our hearts beat a little faster and we wonder together if it just might be possible. Over time, the outline becomes clearer and begins to shape the horizons, as we imagine what might be and see progress toward that distant shape. The opportunities and possibilities are so breathtaking that they scare us a bit, but they also compel us. The future is only motivating when it promises more and better and different and relevant and new and fresh. Change brings those gifts.

The chance to transform individuals and inst.i.tutions, as well as situations and conditions, is what makes the future so bright. Without those things, the future is merely a repet.i.tion of the past, just in front of us rather than behind.

Change can be difficult because there is no guaranteed road map. There is no Auto Club of Change that you can go to and get a clearly marked route.

Almost everyone I know has photos in frames on display throughout the house. Striking pictures of families growing through the years, from just-born babies to p.u.b.escent teenagers to young adults with families of their own. Most have pictures of vacations that hold indelible memories and photos of grandparents who are no longer with us.

But no one I know has a framed photo of the future. We don't see that as clearly. It is not as indelible in our minds as the past or the present. It is unclear and vague. That is one of the reasons leading change is so difficult. But here's what I know: We will move forward when our hope for the future is greater than our stories of the past.

We have no idea of the stories of change and redeemed lives that await us. We have yet to see the difference we can make in this beautiful and broken world. But vision is about imagining the pictures that will be displayed inthose photo frames five years from now and twenty years from now. And liking what we see enough to work hard toward it.

We will move forward when our hope for the future is greater than our stories of the past.

A wise leader expects toface resistance to change, as well as a dizzying array of other responses. A few years back, when our kids were nine, seven, and five, we needed to tell them that we were moving from our home in Southern California to the beautiful tundra that is called Chicago. As a second-generation Californian, I had not yet warmed to this idea by the time we needed to tell the children. But tell them we did.

Because it was a particularly busy time at church and John had a lot to do in preparation for the move, his idea was for me to tell them. Since his idea was not not going to happen, I had another (better) one. The kids and I would meet him at a McDonald's near his office for dinner. Fortunately our kids were at an age when a Happy Meal could cure almost anything. Or so we thought. going to happen, I had another (better) one. The kids and I would meet him at a McDonald's near his office for dinner. Fortunately our kids were at an age when a Happy Meal could cure almost anything. Or so we thought.

We got everyone settled around the table with their steaming food in front of them, and then Mommy and Daddy told a nice story about a family who loved each other very much and was going to move to a faraway land.

Once Johnny, our five-year-old, heard that Chicago was the land where the Bulls and Michael Jordan lived, and that the house would most likely have a bas.e.m.e.nt, and that there would be snow, he was in. Our oldest daughter, Laura, however, didn't even wait to hear how the story ended before bolting from the table, running to the parking lot, and locking herself in the car.

Mallory, torn between the two reactions, landed somewhere in between. But once we got to Chicago, she began to show significant signs of sadness and fear that revealed her true feelings about the move.

Now, almost fifteen years later, we've been back in California for five years (Thank You, G.o.d!). And all of our kids would tell you they are glad that we lived in Chicago. After that first, somewhat difficult year of adjustment, they made lifelong friends and memories there. But their initial response was mostly negative, and it took time for them to be fully grateful for it.

When things change, you can and must expect resistance, questions, and hesitance. Change is not a pa.s.sive process. Leaders must lead, and they must expect people to go through several phases as they go into the change. The more collaboration there is between the leaders.h.i.+p and others in the organization, the more smoothly the process will typically go. The success of this change process depends on authentic collaboration.

Initially almost everyone, at every level, will have some kind of reaction reaction. That seems so obvious that it's almost unnecessary to say, but maybe not. You must look for the signs of those reactions and use those as your cues as to how to best a.s.sist people as they move through the change process. Some will react with questions that you need to answer. Others will become cynical, and you will need to address that. Start by naming the reaction and then plumbing for the fear that most likely underlies it.

There are too many possible reactions to list them all, or even a portion. Just remember, as much as you may think this isn't true, you do not want submission without reservation. No, really, you don't. It is okay and necessary for people to have their questions and their mistrust. They need time and explanation; they need to understand and be able to speak into it and be a part of shaping and being heard.

While people are reacting, you and the leaders.h.i.+p team need to be finding ways to a.s.sist them in their reactions. You will have to give ma.s.sive amounts of time with people during high change seasons. Spend the majority of that time before before the change is implemented, not after. If you wait until after, you will have much more work to do, and you will have dishonored people in the process. the change is implemented, not after. If you wait until after, you will have much more work to do, and you will have dishonored people in the process.

After a period of reaction, most people and organizations will move into a period of adjustment adjustment. This phase tends to be quieter than reaction reaction, but don't be fooled. Many things are happening during the adjustment period. If you have helped well during the first phase, this next phase is largely about an internal "buy-in" that allows people to integrate the new with the old and mourn the past while growing increasingly excited about the future.

If you rush the first phase, this second phase will still be a quiet one, but what will be growing in that silence will be resistance, anger, and combat. Whatever is happening, the end of this phase is often marked by movement. This movement is either in the form of folks getting on board, directly fighting with you, and/or leaving.

Those who stay will mark the third phase of initiative initiative. The main question people will have at this point is "What will my part be?" During this period, people begin to align or realign their giftedness and their energies to the new vision; together they begin pointing themselves in the same direction. The job of a leader now is to connect and engage as many people as possible. This phase is the payoff of having been diligent in phase one and patient in phase two. And it is a wonder to behold, an organization doing a 180-degree turn, even if it means losing a few people in the process. It can be one of the deeply satisfying payoffs of great leaders.h.i.+p.

All of this time, the leaders.h.i.+p team supports, coaches, and encourages each other as everyone on the team permeates the organization and does the work of change. They debrief together, "autopsy" results, learn, grow, and challenge one another. They do midcourse corrections and celebrate.

Resistance isn't the only thing to expect when you're implementing change. To seriously consider making changes means to seriously consider making mistakes.

There are few things I enjoy more than a rousing speech on the importance of mistakes. In order to create an environment of both innovation and personal growth, it is necessary that we make allowances, and even applaud mistakes.

I find it inspiring when leaders who are very successful have a long list of mistakes that they credit for launching them toward all the achievements they now enjoy.

So why do mistakes feel so hard? Why is my response to them not celebration, but embarra.s.sment and disappointment? Why do I feel that when I make those mistakes, others aren't celebrating either but are sharing in my disappointment? Why do I want to hide rather than be open about the mistakes? Everyone loves a winner. I wonder what the yang of that statement is-I think I know.

When our oldest daughter went off to college, before I left her dorm room, I handed her a small package. She opened it to find a hand-sized journal. I told her it was a "mistake journal." Because she is a firstborn child, I thought she needed some practice in getting comfortable with mistakes.

I told her that every night just before she went to bed, she should open it up and write down three mistakes she made that day. And if she was going to put them in writing, they ought to be good ones, not made-up ones. Then, she should put that little journal under her pillow, and fall asleep realizing that (1) the world was still spinning on its axis, (2) tomorrow was another day, and (3) G.o.d still loved her.

I think leaders need mistake journals. Unless we get comfortable both in our mistakes and what we learn from them, we inadvertently create organizational cultures of fear and sameness. Change and innovation are natural outcomes of a relaxed reaction to mistakes. On a personal level, the Christlike transformation that we all talk about actually begins to happen. Our mistakes are a remarkable catalyst for growth.

When a culture is created where fear of failure is decreased, people are better able to quickly move beyond the understandable first reactions of embarra.s.sment and disappointment, and lower their defenses enough so that new learning begins to occur. People rarely do their best or most creative work in an environment of fear. Much like the fight-or-flight response, fear limits our options.

So a couple of steps in becoming a leader who shapes people and organizations through their mistakes: Fear limits our options.

Start by admitting your own. Get comfortable enough in your own skin and in the forgiveness of G.o.d to starttelling stories on yourself. Admit past failures and what got you there. Connect your immaturebehavior to the mistake. My own need to be important and my lack of verbal discipline are just two things that have gotten me in trouble with the leaders of one ministry, and into deep interpersonal conflict with others. Get comfortable enough in your own skin and in the forgiveness of G.o.d to starttelling stories on yourself. Admit past failures and what got you there. Connect your immaturebehavior to the mistake. My own need to be important and my lack of verbal discipline are just two things that have gotten me in trouble with the leaders of one ministry, and into deep interpersonal conflict with others.

And don't just keep your stories in the past. It's mucheasier to talk about mistakes when the relations.h.i.+ps have been patched up and you've already tied a neat bow on the incident. It's another level of vulnerability to talk, appropriately, about current and ongoing struggles.

Autopsy the mistakes. Few leaders.h.i.+p teams take the time or have the courage to lay a mistake on the table, take it apart, and try to understand how it happened. The most likely result is that people will have to take differing levels of responsibility for what happened, and that takes a kind of humility and openness that is rare. But without it, transformation doesn't have a chance. Few leaders.h.i.+p teams take the time or have the courage to lay a mistake on the table, take it apart, and try to understand how it happened. The most likely result is that people will have to take differing levels of responsibility for what happened, and that takes a kind of humility and openness that is rare. But without it, transformation doesn't have a chance.

Our ability to love is reflected in our capacity to forgive.

Our ability to love is reflected in our capacity to forgive, and mistakes give us a public opportunity for both. Autopsies that lead to forgiveness and learning rather than grudge holdingand blaming create organizations that are moving into the future well with G.o.d, not paralyzed by fear and relational wholeness. G.o.d's fresh winds of the Spirit are always blowing.

Perhaps our mistakes give us fresh eyes to catch that wind.

when to Worry.

RECENTLY A GUY CALLED our office. He was the CEO of amidsize company that had enjoyed early and explosive growth, but now he found his team in a season of stagnation. He spent a fair amount of time explaining to me the specifics of their history as a business and answering some of the questions I was asking to better understand his challenges. our office. He was the CEO of amidsize company that had enjoyed early and explosive growth, but now he found his team in a season of stagnation. He spent a fair amount of time explaining to me the specifics of their history as a business and answering some of the questions I was asking to better understand his challenges.

Then he said, "Here's the bottom line. We all like each other, we get along great, and we never disagree. We just aren't moving forward."

I offered that those things were inexorably linked.

Most teams view conflict as a sign of serious problems. It's easy to mistake displays of quick agreement, early consensus, and lack of objections for signs of health. But teams that get along all of the time and never disagree ought to make you nervous. Really nervous. Palm-sweating, palpitation-inducing nervous.

It's funny how looking good on the outside often betrayssome serious stuff going on inside. Like the runner who drops dead of a heart attack. It's a surprise, but he's still dead.

Here's the truth: Conflict is basically energy, and, harkening back to Physics 101, you know that energy has to go somewhere. The good news is that as the leader, you can decide where that energy goes: Underground, in the roll of the eyes, the silent response, the meeting after the meeting where people declare laughingly, "That'll never work!"

Or . . .

In the meeting, face-to-face, no holding back, robust debate of the issues, no grudges afterward.

I would pick number two every time. The problem is, and we all know it, that it's not as simple as just picking a number. Too often, all the things listed in number one are hidden behind the mask of an approving nod: Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Yes I am behind this 100 percent. Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Yes I am behind this 100 percent. Malicious compliance. Something deep down in your gut is reminding you that approving nods rarely result in follow-through. When that happens, it's a sure sign that conflict has gone underground. Malicious compliance. Something deep down in your gut is reminding you that approving nods rarely result in follow-through. When that happens, it's a sure sign that conflict has gone underground.

Getting along, just not moving forward.

Let me tell you how I know so much about this. I have some pretty impressive credentials when it comes to conflict. Actually, I have often been the one doing the subversive conflict thing. I definitely did the roll of the eyes-only in my mind's eye-during the meeting. And then once we got behind closed doors, I could openly roll my eyes with the best of them, garnis.h.i.+ng great laughter as I delicately mocked the decision. It was delicious, the admiration I gained. I had quite a following, all of us cowards.

Funny how something that was once so much fun is now the source of great embarra.s.sment to me. But I'll have to say this about really embarra.s.sing situations: Eventually you either leave or learn. I'm happy to say that most often-not always, but most often-I learned.

And as I was learning, I also ended up leading people who were just like I had been. Leaders.h.i.+p irony, I suppose. Annoying for sure. But at least I could offer a little grace with my irritation.

So, back to worrying about when there isn't conflict.

Great teams need need spirited, unfiltered debate. They need it to clear the air, they need it to trust each other, and they need it to make important decisions worth committing to. Great teams need leaders who are comfortable with debate and actually require it. spirited, unfiltered debate. They need it to clear the air, they need it to trust each other, and they need it to make important decisions worth committing to. Great teams need leaders who are comfortable with debate and actually require it.

One of my colleagues, Kent Bechler, often says that the further up you go in an organization, the less truth you will hear. For that reason, wise leaders surround themselves with people who aren't afraid to tell the truth.

I was sitting in my office one day when Steve, my a.s.sociate director, stuck his head in the door and said, "Do you have a minute?"

Now leaders.h.i.+p is a relationally intensive endeavor and leaders must provide those they lead with access. But you already know that this is a chapter on conflict, so we'll cover that issue of access and relations.h.i.+p in another chapter.

Sure Steve, come on in! Glad to have you in my office. Glad you are benefiting from my often-open-door policy. Love working with you. What's on your mind, my friend?

"Well, I want to talk to you about something, and I'm not the only one who feels this way."

Not a great way to start, but I was the one who had invited him in.

Please, tell me more.

Steve explained that when I first arrived to lead Axis, the one thing he liked (this kid was not earning any brownie points) was my meetings. He said that it had been a long time since someone had put as much time and thought and preparation into the Axis meetings.

And then he made an abrupt s.h.i.+ft and said something like, "I don't know what has been occupying your time now, but your meetings suck."

Okay . . .

So, Steve, how long did you say you had been looking for another place to work?

Who does this guy think he is? What is he, twenty-four? Is he kidding me? Does he have any idea what my days are like? how much work I do? how often I protect Axis and the staff from all the other organizational issues I am working on? how much work I do? how often I protect Axis and the staff from all the other organizational issues I am working on?

It's amazing how many thoughts can flash through your mind in a millisecond, while there is still a pleasant smile plastered on your face. It's also amazing how sometimes, amid all those thoughts, a rational one rises like a phoenix. I asked myself, What part of what he is saying is not true? What part of what he is saying is not true? Notice, that's a different question than Notice, that's a different question than What part of what he is saying do I not like? What part of what he is saying do I not like?

The truth was, Steve was right. When I first started leading Axis, I was so excited. So grateful for such a wonderful opportunity, so thankful to be allowed to lead in an area for which I had so much pa.s.sion. And I threw the best of who I was into it.

I thought about meetings all the time. Patrick Len-cionitalks a lot about meetings as the places where most of leaders.h.i.+p happens. A leader who says he doesn't likemeetings is a lot like a surgeon saying, "Yeah, if it wasn't for operating, I'd really like my job." If you are a leader, meetings are are your job. And I took that seriously. At least at first. your job. And I took that seriously. At least at first.

Pat also says that your people should look forward to meetings more than they would the invitation to a movie. Yeah, how's that for clarifying the gap?

So when I first started leading Axis, I thought about the purpose of each meeting. I asked myself who needed to be there, what information I needed to gather beforehand, and what I could do to make the meetings more creative, fast paced, and fun. I also always tried to end on time and leave people wanting more.

But then, life got busy. Actually leaders.h.i.+p got busy. I had other plates to spin, other things to think about and give my energy to, and before I knew it, even I didn't want to go to my meetings.

I guess I figured that since I got my meetings off to a good start (and that is probably a great way to begin a new leaders.h.i.+p run, with a s.h.i.+ft in the tone of the meetings that in itself declares, "This is a new day"), I could check that off my list. No one told me that in or der to keep our meetings energized, I needed to continue spending time on them. I guess no one should have had to tell me that.

So I was left with this: What part of what Steve said to me wasn't true?

And then, in that split second, another thought showed up: What kind of courage had it taken Steve to initiate this conversation with me? What kind of courage had it taken Steve to initiate this conversation with me?

With the help of those two thoughts, I asked Steve to tell me more, and we had a great conversation about how to rectify the situation. Steve, G.o.d bless him, had given me a gift. A gift wrapped in a package that almost caused me to miss it, but a gift nonetheless.

Steve had given me the gift of conflict. The gift that keeps giving, even when you don't want it.

Really, no thank you. I can't accept it. Really, you shouldn't have. Really.

But here's the funny thing about conflict. Conflict isa spiritual formation practice. You don't read much about it, what with all the attention on quiet timesand journaling and listening to praise songs. Maybe that's too bad, and maybe we are the poorer because of it.

Conflict is a spiritual formation practice.

Conflict is this crucible for change. It is the environment in which we can take some of our best and deepest looks at ourselves and our organizations. It is the tension that stirs us to resolution, the conversation that leads to understanding and apology. Conflict prompts an internal look, a conversation with G.o.d, a repentance that is rare.

I remember a time that I was angry with another leader I worked with at Willow Creek. And one of the things I loved the most about the culture at Willow was the commitment to conflict resolution and change. So I went to my boss and explained the whole situation from my perspective, whichof course I was sure was the only one. Wisely, my boss set up a meeting with me and the other leader. I had so so been hoping thatwouldn't be the outcome. Surely, I thought, my boss could just go to this other leader and whack him up the side of the head, and we could be done with it. But been hoping thatwouldn't be the outcome. Surely, I thought, my boss could just go to this other leader and whack him up the side of the head, and we could be done with it. But no, no, we had to actually we had to actually do do the Matthew 18 thing. I was pretty sure that Matthew 18 was just a suggestion Jesus had made as a last-ditch effort when gossip and resentment just weren't working anymore. the Matthew 18 thing. I was pretty sure that Matthew 18 was just a suggestion Jesus had made as a last-ditch effort when gossip and resentment just weren't working anymore.

Conflict is this crucible for change.

So there we sat, the badmean leader, my boss, and me. We talked and listened, explained and shared frustrations. Then at one point, my boss asked me what I thought this other leader's motives were.

Oh, yeah right . . . I am so so not going there. I will justpresent the facts, Your Honor. No speculation here. not going there. I will justpresent the facts, Your Honor. No speculation here.

My boss went on to explain that we weren't just here totalk about behaviors but also about motivations. Because one determines the other, and you can't change one without understanding the other.

So down we went, where the air was damp and heavy, the visibility not very good, and the oxygen saturation low. It was slow-moving, difficult, and dangerous work. It was a long meeting, and we were exhausted. But here's what emerged: The bad-mean leader was operating out of power and image management. I was being a martyr, avoider, and gossiper. We sat for a long time talking about the truth of those things and working toward admitting and resolving them, to the extent you can do that in one conversation. We talked about what it meant-what it really meant-to live and lead out of community and to be followers of Christ, and how that affected the motives we had uncovered.

Things aren't always fifty-fifty. In fact, I'd say they rarely are. And this was no exception. Bad-mean leader bore a bit more weight of responsibility. But the amazing thing was that bad-mean leader was the one to bring that up. (Believe me, this book is full of times when I was the one bearing the higher percentage. And if you are tempted to think it is petty and unnecessary to determine percentages, I pretty strongly disagree with that. It may be difficult to determine, but I think it is important.) That conversation, laden with conflict, was the catalyst for deep growth. We did some hard repair work, both separately and in the context of our relations.h.i.+p, and today, bad-mean leader and I are still good friends.

With such a good outcome, it's a wonder we don't go looking for conflict.