Giving In Part 4

She heard s.h.i.+zuru gasp into her mouth and felt hot breath against her lips. Gentle hands slid over the muscles of Natsuki's back and around her waist, tickling her ribs slightly with their light caress. They continued their journey, pausing to explore her toned stomach before moving up to the swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her body stiffened when those fingers found the peak of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and she broke the kiss to let out a low moan. She pushed back into the chair when her top was shoved upwards and moist lips ducked down to press against her heated flesh.

s.h.i.+zuru placed light kisses along her abdomen and up to the valley of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Natsuki's breath quickened in antic.i.p.ation, her mind succ.u.mbing to the fog of desire. The older woman didn't move to unclasp the bra but, instead, pushed the obstruction up with the top, releasing the pert b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She descended upon one quickly, her lips encasing a pink bud eagerly. A small whimper escaped Natsuki's lips as a hot, wet tongue flicked against her nipple, a shock of pleasure shooting down to her groin. s.h.i.+zuru's left hand attended to the other breast, cupping it in her palm whilst her free hand travelled south.

Natsuki's back arched into s.h.i.+zuru's touch, the a.s.sault on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s causing her breath to hitch and the fluttering in her stomach to increase. She began to pant as she became aware of teasing fingers trailing down her left thigh, nails dragging against the skin there. s.h.i.+zuru's left hand dropped down to the opposite thigh and started to knead the well formed muscle. She whimpered as the older woman's tongue switched to the other nipple, tracing a path around it and finally flicking the tip of it repeatedly. Oh G.o.d. Those hands were torturously dipping near to her groin before veering away to stroke her outer thighs again, causing her to writhe beneath their touch. A thin layer of perspiration had formed on her upper lip and she could feel a trickle of sweat travel down her back.

She laced her own fingers into chestnut strands, pressing her breast further into s.h.i.+zuru's mouth. In turn, the older woman grazed her teeth against the sensitive nub, earning a gasp from Natsuki. Dextrous fingers slid up quaking thighs towards Natsuki's hips and hooked onto the black fabric there. She tugged on the panties and Natsuki a.s.sisted her by lifting her pelvis somewhat weakly. The underwear was soon discarded and the hands returned to their place on the biker's thighs.

s.h.i.+zuru pulled back from the breast she was attending and looked up at Natsuki, her lips swollen from her task. The younger woman licked her lips idly as she stared back expectantly, her chest heaving from excitement. s.h.i.+zuru's gaze dropped to Natsuki's skirt and she used both hands to push the fabric up to reveal a shock of dark hair. The flush in her cheeks darkened and she was sure s.h.i.+zuru's cheeks reddened as well. It wasn't until the other woman's head lowered that she realised what her intention actually was. Her hands still in her hair, Natsuki tightened her grip around chestnut locks to keep s.h.i.+zuru in place. "W-wait!" She sputtered, nerves settling in.

The Kyoto woman looked back up, her brow slightly furrowed, her eyes almost pleading with her. "I want to taste you. Please... Can I?"

Natsuki felt her face burn uncomfortably hot, her cheeks an unhealthy shade of reddish purple. How can she just say things like that! But there was something in her voice that she couldn't deny so she just closed her eyes and pushed her head against the back of the chair, hoping s.h.i.+zuru would be able to interpret that. With the world around her blocked out, she honed in on every movement the other woman made, however slight it was. She felt the ticklish brush of hair on her thighs and her stomach lurched with anxiety and antic.i.p.ation. She could hear s.h.i.+zuru's breathing pick up, short puffs of air coming at quickened intervals. She could smell what she'd come to identify as her own arousal. She could taste s.h.i.+zuru still on her lips and she missed the other woman's mouth.

As s.h.i.+zuru's head continued its descent at an agonisingly slow pace, she pulled her hands away and gripped the arms of the chair, squeezing the plastic in a vice-like hold. When she felt breath between her legs, she let out a whimper, her hips beginning to squirm a little now. Soft hands travelled over the skin of her thighs once more, soothing her nerves as they ma.s.saged the muscles there. s.h.i.+zuru then placed both hands on Natsuki's inner thighs, spreading her legs slightly. "So beautiful..." Came the breathy whisper.

Before Natsuki could really register the words, she felt a softness press against her lips and a cry rose from her throat and spilled past her clenched teeth. The pressure against her was released before another quick kiss was placed into the hair between her legs. She released the breath that had caught in her chest and managed to force it out her mouth with a hiss. Her mind was spinning from the minimal contact s.h.i.+zuru was allowing her, she dared not think about how she would react when the older woman finally gave into her desires.

s.h.i.+zuru s.h.i.+fted in front of her, using her hands to place Natsuki's legs over her shoulders whilst she settled with her prize at eye level. The biker forced an eye open to peer down at the other woman, seeing only chestnut hair and a pair of eyebrows as s.h.i.+zuru closed the gap between them. She let out another gasp as she felt something deliciously soft and wet press into her. Hot velvet caressed the length of her center, sending an overwhelming surge of pleasure throughout her body. Her grip tightened on the arms of the chair and her hips bucked upwards into s.h.i.+zuru's mouth.

Natsuki heard and felt s.h.i.+zuru's low, rumbling moan against her lips and she couldn't help but answer with a groan of her own. That tongue delved deeper into her, exploring everything within reach. s.h.i.+zuru wrapped her arms around Natsuki's thighs as she burrowed deeper into her center, her own excitement causing her to lose any sense of rhythm. s.h.i.+zuru teasingly lapped at her entrance, not quite going inside. Natsuki snorted in frustration, now grinding against the other woman's face as her body begged for more. In the next moment, that torturous tongue had swept upwards and had honed in on the small bundle of nerves there. She flinched as the tip of s.h.i.+zuru's tongue flicked against it, sending another bolt of pleasure throughout her body.

She felt a deep throbbing from within her as s.h.i.+zuru's tongue circled her c.l.i.t over and over. Her pulse quickened along with her breath at the teasing strokes. Then the older woman closed her lips around that little bundle and lapped at it, eliciting short, sharp gasps from Natsuki. Her tongue's ministrations were driving the biker further and further into a maddened state of arousal and she felt as though she might be lost in it forever. While Natsuki continued to lose herself, s.h.i.+zuru picked up the pace and intensity of her efforts.

As she licked at Natsuki, s.h.i.+zuru moved her right arm down so she could stroke the underside of a tensed thigh. The biker's body shuddered under the other woman's touches and she wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to hang on for. The fingers that had brushed against her leg were now burying themselves in short dark strands of hair. Natsuki bit down on her lower lip as her hips bucked suddenly. All throughout her jerky movements, s.h.i.+zuru had held onto her securely, guiding her hips back down to the chair and ensuring she didn't slide off of it.

s.h.i.+zuru now s.h.i.+fted on her knees, pus.h.i.+ng herself up a little so she had a heightened position above Natsuki's pelvis. She never once broke contact with her, her tongue still stimulating the younger woman's c.l.i.t. Now that she'd moved, s.h.i.+zuru brought her right hand down to part Natsuki's lips and rested her middle finger at her opening. She paused and Natsuki was sure she'd be smirking at the sweet agony she inflicted on her. "Uhn..." She murmured, bucking her hips purposely upwards to entice the other woman into her. "s.h.i.+zu... ru..."

Natsuki growled in frustration as the flicking of s.h.i.+zuru's tongue slowed considerably and she stilled the rocking of her hips, peering down at her lover with mild irritation. s.h.i.+zuru lifted her head, Natsuki's desire evident upon her grinning mouth. She watched as that wicked tongue licked swollen lips. "Does Natsuki want something?" Her tone had deepened to a melodious purr and it sent s.h.i.+vers down the younger woman's spine.

"You know d.a.m.n well..." She was cut off abruptly as s.h.i.+zuru thrust her middle finger into her, causing her to take in a sharp breath of air. Her muscles clamped down on that finger, adjusting easily to its presence. The pleasurable sensations it caused filled her and she closed her eyes, wanting to give herself over to it completely. Her entire body tremored as s.h.i.+zuru pulled out and pushed in once more, setting a slow, even pace. Natsuki could feel her gaze on her but she didn't open her eyes.

Soon, she felt s.h.i.+zuru's tongue rejoin her hand and resume its previous task of flicking against the swollen nub. Natsuki's hips began rocking against s.h.i.+zuru again, her breaths now being joined by whimpers and moans. The Kyoto woman panted against her center, only adding to the mult.i.tude of sensations she felt down there. That tightness in the pit of her stomach was beginning to build now, the same thing she had felt in the club office. s.h.i.+zuru knew how to create that and nurture it until it consumed her and left her helpless.

s.h.i.+zuru continued to pump into Natsuki, stroking her inner walls as she did so. She added her forefinger, causing the biker to groan loudly. Her hips were bucking erratically now and she had no control over what most of her body was doing. She managed to bring her right hand down from its death grip on the arm of the chair and into silky locks of chestnut. She gripped the hair tightly and pulled s.h.i.+zuru firmly into her. "s.h.i.+... zuru..." She gasped as her lover picked up the pace.

They rocked together now, Natsuki bucking into the other woman's touch whilst s.h.i.+zuru thrust into her and kept up her ministrations on her c.l.i.t. Natsuki was slowly beginning to lose each of her senses, scent being the first to go and now hearing. She could no longer hear her ragged breaths nor the lapping of s.h.i.+zuru's tongue. She supposed sight would have been soon to follow but having her eyes closed made that rather redundant anyway. She could still taste her lover's kisses in her mouth and she wished to hang onto that for as long as she could, as well as being able to enjoy her touch.

She was close now and when s.h.i.+zuru curled her fingers around into her front wall she knew it wouldn't take much to tip her over. The building crescendo in her gut was about ready to overflow and she could sense the blinding light at the edge of her vision. She allowed her mouth to hang open to provide easier breathing, not caring what sounds she emitted now. The rapid fluttering of s.h.i.+zuru's tongue pushed her ever closer and when she plunged into her with added strength, Natsuki felt her muscles tighten and pulse around those fingers. Her body convulsed and she called out to s.h.i.+zuru as the waves of euphoria consumed her. Her legs unintentionally wrapped around s.h.i.+zuru's head and her grip on those chestnut strands tightened further as more tremors wracked her body.

She finally flopped back into the chair, her muscles relaxing and returning to a jelly-like state. She panted heavily, unable to open her eyes for the time being. She felt unusually emotional and wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. As her senses returned to her, she felt s.h.i.+zuru slide along her body and wrap her in a protective embrace. Nothing could have made her feel safer in that moment. She weakly lifted her own arms to return the hug and felt a lazy smile come to her lips.

When she eventually managed to open her eyes, a smiling s.h.i.+zuru looked back at her, her lips even more swollen than before which only made them seem more appealing to Natsuki. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was in disarray. Whoops, she found herself thinking and let out a small giggle, the euphoria making her giddy. When s.h.i.+zuru gave her a questioning look she merely snuggled into the other woman, not wanting to expend the energy to speak. There's definitely something nice about this o.r.g.a.s.m business, her intoxicated mind concluded.

She continued to shudder from little aftershocks and she began to feel some strength return to her. She reached up and slid a hand around the back of s.h.i.+zuru's neck, pulling her down for a languid kiss. She could smell and taste herself on the other woman but it wasn't unpleasant. The kiss was certainly worth putting up with it anyway.

"Ookini." s.h.i.+zuru uttered after pulling back from the kiss.

"For what?" Natsuki asked lazily.

s.h.i.+zuru smiled at her, that same fondness showing clearly in her eyes. "For fulfilling a fantasy of mine." Was all she said.

Natsuki quirked an eyebrow at her. Fantasy? What did she mean? Does she mean being in this room and..? That brought about the thought of s.h.i.+zuru having to hide her feelings and desires for so long. She wondered if she'd often thought of them being together. She decided to ask her about that later. She didn't have the energy necessary to power her brain for thoughts like that right now. She did realise she didn't mind though.

"No problem." She muttered into her lover's chest, nuzzling her cheek against the smooth skin she found there. s.h.i.+zuru kissed the top of her head and idly stroked her hair, making her feel entirely comfortable even though they were both cuddled up in a leather chair in a school office. That was certainly a strange thought to Natsuki. They'd need to leave soon as the cleaners would probably be coming around. But first things first. She allowed her hands to wander s.h.i.+zuru's curves, drawing the other woman's attention. After that performance, she deserves a little reward I think.

Chapter Four: For Us.

"No problem," Natsuki murmured before rubbing her cheek against s.h.i.+zuru's chest. She found the action incredibly cute and couldn't help the smile from spreading across her face. The skin of Natsuki's cheek felt incredibly hot against her chest, even with her own flushed skin. s.h.i.+zuru pressed a kiss into dark strands before running her fingers through them lightly.

As comforting as their embrace was, s.h.i.+zuru was incredibly distracted. The other woman's taste was still in her mouth and every time she inhaled, her scent filled her nostrils. Tasting Natsuki was an amazing experience and one she'd never be able to put into words. It was all she'd ever dreamed of and more. She hadn't expected her to be so completely intoxicating. Those thoughts weren't helping her level of frustration though, and the ache between her legs only increased.

As if reading her mind, Natsuki s.h.i.+fted, her hands sliding around s.h.i.+zuru's body and down across her ribs. The light touches caused the Kyoto woman to s.h.i.+ver and close her eyes momentarily. She pulled back a little and looked down into intent emerald eyes. s.h.i.+zuru recognised that determined glint and she wondered what was going through her mind at that point. The younger woman gripped s.h.i.+zuru's sides and urged her backwards. Complying, s.h.i.+zuru allowed herself to be guided back onto the table. She sat upon it, thinking it a little strange for their usual seating to be reversed.

She watched as Natsuki licked her lips and s.h.i.+zuru's eyelids dropped a little as she felt a surge of desire stir within her. The biker slid her hands under the collar of s.h.i.+zuru's blouse and pushed the garment down the older woman's arms. A shudder crept along her skin as Natsuki's fingertips flitted back up across her shoulders. Lips soon found s.h.i.+zuru's exposed collarbone and she let out a breath suddenly at the searing contact. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, focusing entirely on what the other woman was doing to her.

Teeth grazed her skin and the flicker of a tongue sent her mind whirling. Inexperienced as she was, Natsuki had quickly discovered exactly what it was that drove s.h.i.+zuru to dizzying heights of arousal. The Kyoto woman gripped the edge of the table firmly, supporting herself as best she could. When she felt Natsuki's hands on her thighs she let out another gasp. This seemed to encourage the other woman as she pushed her hands up along s.h.i.+zuru's legs, taking the fabric of her skirt with them. Her stomach fluttered uncontrollably now and she could feel the heat p.r.i.c.kling under her skin.

Those tantalising hands paused in their ascent and s.h.i.+zuru felt fingernails press into the sensitive skin at the top of her thighs. A whimper rose up at the back of her throat and she could feel her muscles tense under Natsuki's fingers. She s.h.i.+vered as a hot tongue trailed along the contour of her collarbone before Natsuki pressed a firm kiss to the hollow of her throat. Risking losing her balance, s.h.i.+zuru lifted one of her hands and buried her fingers in dark tresses, gripping them firmly. A murmur rumbled against her skin as Natsuki reacted to the action.

The younger woman now placed her palms flat against s.h.i.+zuru's thighs, gripping them slightly and pus.h.i.+ng her legs apart. The Kyoto woman could feel her chest tightening in antic.i.p.ation. It was so easy to relinquish control to Natsuki. At first, it had come as a surprise to her after the all of the restrictions she had placed on herself, particularly when it came to this woman. But it made complete sense; if anyone could tear down her defences easily, it would be Natsuki. Still, she couldn't help but find it new and strange. The little doubts that niggled at the back of her mind didn't help either.

Unintentionally not allowing s.h.i.+zuru to focus on that thought for the moment, Natsuki playfully nipped at s.h.i.+zurus neck before running her tongue across the skin there. s.h.i.+zuru let out an approving moan and pulled the other woman's head against her more firmly. One of the biker's hands left its place on s.h.i.+zuru's thigh and travelled the distance to her chest. Fingers made a burning trail over the skin just above her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and she let out a frustrated whimper, the need building within her getting the better of her. She could feel Natsuki's lips twitch against her neck and then she cupped a hand over one of s.h.i.+zuru's b.r.e.a.s.t.s, the white fabric of her bra an unwanted barrier between them.

s.h.i.+zuru's back arched of its own accord, prompting Natsuki to squeeze her breast gently. The combination of the other woman's mouth and hands on her skin fuelled the yearning in her gut, making it hard for her to breathe. She drew in a lungful of air, attempting to clear her mind a little. Part of her wasn't letting go completely, however, and it irked her that she wasn't able to fully enjoy what Natsuki was doing to her. Her thoughts were clouded though and pinpointing the exact problem wasn't proving easy. She grazed her nails across Natsuki's scalp, causing the other woman to pause her ministrations.

As Natsuki pulled back, s.h.i.+zuru peered down at her, uncertain green eyes staring back at her. That look of uncertainty triggered something in her mind. "I'm scared. Really scared." Her earlier words echoed in s.h.i.+zuru's mind and she felt a chill pa.s.s through her. "Once I decide on something..." The haze around s.h.i.+zuru lifted slightly as her thoughts sobered her. Is this really what she wants? Natsuki didn't seem to notice the doubts cascading through the Kyoto woman, however, and she ducked down to press a kiss to s.h.i.+zuru's sternum.

The older woman desperately tried to force the doubts from her mind, to try and enjoy Natsuki's touch, to live in that moment. Yet the guilt gnawing at her refused to release her. Please, let me just enjoy this, she pleaded with herself but the thoughts wouldn't fade, even when Natsuki's hand slid up to touch her hip, her thumb brus.h.i.+ng against the sensitive skin between her thigh and groin. She shuddered involuntarily, wrapping her arms around Natsuki's shoulders and pulling her in tightly. Why would she be doing these things if she didn't want to?

Logically, s.h.i.+zuru couldn't see any reason why Natsuki would, but an aching had begun to fill her chest and irrational fears were answering her questions for her now. s.h.i.+zuru was aware of how guilty the other woman had felt over the suffering she'd endured because of her feelings. Perhaps she's doing this to alleviate her guilt? She didn't like the sound of that in the slightest. Natsuki was kind though, and she could see her making that sacrifice out of some twisted sense of duty. s.h.i.+zuru hated the thought that she was only with her now because she felt obligated to be.

She felt all the hope that she'd gained in the last few days begin to slip away from her. Putting everything together that Natsuki had said led her to a completely unwanted conclusion. Why couldn't she have just ignored the doubts? Why couldn't she allow herself to enjoy something for once? Her fears had consumed her so much that she hadn't noticed she was trembling. This seemed to go unnoticed by Natsuki, however, who continued to caress the older woman's skin. Her tender touches were almost painful to s.h.i.+zuru now.

Does she pity me? The soul-shattering thoughts continued to plague her, ruining any enjoyment she could have received. Had she wanted it so much that she ignored Natsuki's own feelings in the process? Had she been blind to everything but her own desire? I'm so selfish... She could feel tears sting at her eyes and she knew she'd lose control over her emotions if she didn't stop what was happening. Panic constricted the muscles in her chest as she felt Natsuki's fingers slip under the hem of her panties.

She tried to call out to Natsuki to stop, but her throat tightened uncomfortably. She released her hold on the other woman and forced her left hand between their bodies, grasping at Natsuki's wrist. Stiffening at the contact, Natsuki suddenly pulled back, confusion in her widened eyes. Perhaps it was the desperation in s.h.i.+zuru's movements that had tipped the dark haired woman off but it was clear she knew something was wrong.

"s.h.i.+zuru..?" she questioned, almost timidly. Natsuki's expression filled with even more concern as she regarded s.h.i.+zuru's face. The Kyoto woman had no idea what she could see there but she expected she wasn't hiding much of what she felt at that moment. "What's wrong?"

s.h.i.+zuru looked away, her gaze dropping to the table. How was she supposed to tell Natsuki? How was she supposed to push away everything she had ever wanted? She bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to keep the turmoil of emotions contained. "Can we... stop?" s.h.i.+zuru could hear the quiver in her own voice.

She could sense the mixture of feelings pa.s.sing through Natsuki at that moment, she didn't even need to look at her. That only caused the aching in her chest to grow. "Wh-what?"

"Please..." she could only whisper out the word.

Natsuki hesitantly pulled away, taking a step back and wrapping her arms around herself as she s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably. "Did I... do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asked tentatively, the intense worry in her words almost bringing s.h.i.+zuru to tears. Even then, Natsuki was only thinking of her needs.

s.h.i.+zuru drew in a deep breath and slipped off the table, shrugging her blouse back onto her shoulders. "No," she said as calmly as she could. She brought the parted blouse together and held it in place with one hand.

"Then what?" Natsuki demanded.

Against her will, s.h.i.+zuru's eyes went to Natsuki and she took in the pain in her features. I've hurt her... That realisation staggered the Kyoto woman and she wished they could go back to the way they had been moments before. But she couldn't. Surely she was hurting Natsuki more by forcing the other woman to be with her? Even if it was unintentional. She needed to hear that from her first though.

"s.h.i.+zuru!" Natsuki reached out for her and grasped her upper arms firmly. "Tell me."

Unable to tear her eyes away from the emotion in Natsuki's eyes, she forced herself to answer. "You... don't want this, do you?" Her voice sounded strained.

The biker's brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled slightly as confusion marred her features. "What are you talking about? I just told you-"

s.h.i.+zuru cut in, wanting to get it over with quickly. It was too painful. "I heard your words but... I can't help but think it's all for my sake."

Natsuki shook her head slowly, not quite understanding. "Of course it is but..."

So it's true... "I don't want you doing anything for my sake, Natsuki. I told you that before."

The grip on her arms tightened as the furrow in Natsuki's brow deepened. "That's not what I meant! I told you I'm giving myself to you. Don't you get it?"

s.h.i.+zuru's eyes closed, unable to look upon the emerald burning into her. "Giving yourself isn't the same as wanting it..."

Natsuki didn't even pause before answering and it almost convinced s.h.i.+zuru she was wrong about everything. Almost. "Of course I want it. Why wouldn't I?"

Abruptly pulling away from Natsuki's grip, s.h.i.+zuru took a few steps away before uncharacteristically snapping back at the other woman. "Why would you?"

The younger woman was taken aback by her burst of emotion and she floundered for a moment. This only continued to fuel the doubts in s.h.i.+zuru's mind. "Sh-s.h.i.+zuru..." she said sadly.

Tears were stinging at her eyes again now but s.h.i.+zuru refused to let them flow. Not in front of someone else. Not in front of her. "Thank you, Natsuki..." she began, b.u.t.toning her s.h.i.+rt quickly. "For doing this for me but I can't just play along. As much as I want to, I just can't."

She picked up her jacket and turned away from Natsuki, gripping the garment tightly in her hands. She felt as though she was killing a part of herself with her words. "I don't... understand," came Natsuki's bewildered words. "You... I... I just worked things out in my head, dammit. How could this happen?"

The aching in her chest had started giving way to an odd hollow sensation. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be content with your pity but... it's not enough." With those words she moved hastily to the door and unlocked it. She wasn't sure how she managed to handle the keys since her mind wasn't on the task but she didn't fumble once.

"s.h.i.+zuru, wait!" Natsuki called out to her. She wanted desperately to turn and just embrace the other woman but she, instead, squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the door handle tightly. She waited for the biker to say something else but she appeared to be struggling with her own thoughts. As she opened the door and moved out into the corridor, she heard Natsuki move after her.

She couldn't handle the other woman coming after her, she'd just give in to that pity. As much as it hurt to push Natsuki away, it was something she had to do. If they continued as they were, they'd end up both hurting because it wasn't what either of them wanted. Part of her selfishly wanted to relish in that temporary happiness but she'd gone too far already. And then she did something that she hadn't done in the school corridors before. She ran.

"You're wrong!" Natsuki's voice drifted to her ears and she could feel her mask cracking. Yet, she still continued to distance herself from the other woman. She had to try and run from that emptiness in her chest, before it consumed her completely.

How did this happen? Natsuki's thought echoed in her mind and she felt completely desolate as she stared down the corridor. s.h.i.+zuru ran from me... she actually ran away... She couldn't even comprehend their conversation at that moment. None of it made sense. She'd worked so hard at sorting things out in her head, she really thought she'd made some progress. And now s.h.i.+zuru had thrown it back in her face. She had seemed to be happy at her words though, that's what she couldn't understand. But then she'd suddenly rejected them. She rejected me.

She leant against the wall of the corridor, her strength suddenly sapped. What was she supposed to do? If s.h.i.+zuru truly believed Natsuki only wanted to be with her because she pitied her, then how was she going to convince her otherwise? Would s.h.i.+zuru even let her? Will I even see her again? A chill ran down her spine at that thought. She felt suddenly very lonely. No, there's no way that's going to happen! I won't let it! She wrapped her arms around herself, the evening bringing with it a penetrating chill. Or perhaps that was her thoughts.

First of all, she had to try and figure out what was going through s.h.i.+zuru's mind, and that was never an easy thing. She couldn't get over the pain she'd seen in the older woman's eyes. Doing what she did must have been awful for s.h.i.+zuru. If that's the case, why did she do it? She wasn't sure she'd be able to answer that on her own. She knew there were a lot of things the other woman kept hidden, even from Natsuki. Especially from me, I guess.

Natsuki tilted her head back against the wall and let it rest there, closing her eyes. A dull ache had formed behind her eyes now, matching the pain in her chest. Where would s.h.i.+zuru have run off to? Perhaps she'd go home, or even to the dojo she taught naginatajutsu at. Both places brought back distracting memories for her. But they were also painful now. Will I get to share those moments with her again? Dammit, I'd just found out how good things could feel, how happy I could be. It wasn't fair, she decided. Why couldn't she just get a break?

"d.a.m.n, Natsuki, you look awful!" The sudden sound of Mai's voice caused the biker to jump and she pushed herself off the wall, her senses suddenly alert. She looked in surprise down the corridor and, sure enough, there was Mai standing with her bag in hand looking at her with open concern.

Ugh, I can't handle her right now. She turned to walk in the opposite direction, briefly considering running to get away from the other girl, but she decided that would look too suspicious. Not that walking away from her friend without saying anything was completely normal either. She heard the patter of shoes on the polished floor and she cringed as she realised Mai was jogging to catch up to her.

Mai skipped around her and stopped right in front of Natsuki, almost causing the pair to collide. "Don't pretend you didn't see me." She was sporting a disapproving glare now.

Natsuki let out a sigh and placed a hand on her hip. "What do you want?"

The other girl folded her arms across her ample chest and narrowed her eyes at Natsuki. "That's not going to work on me. You can't be all Miss. Ice and Death around me. I know something's wrong."

She knew this would happen. Just as Mai had noticed the change in her earlier in the day, she was now able to see how upset Natsuki was. It's probably not all that hard to do, she mused. It didn't help that her clothes were all wrinkled as well. She was just glad she'd gone back into the room earlier to retrieve her underwear. She felt her heart sink as memories from the previous hour flashed through her mind. If only she could go back and do something different. If only she could have said the right thing.

"There!" Mai said, pointing a finger in Natsuki's face. "You're oozing sadness, what's up?"

Natsuki shook her head, her gaze moving to the window where she could see the sun starting to set. Hues of darkening yellows and reds filled the horizon but she couldn't feel their warmth. "I think I messed up," she muttered quietly, not really intending the words to slip out at all.

Mai regarded her for several moments before grasping a surprised Natsuki's wrist and tugging her along down the corridor. Before the dark haired student could register her complaint, her friend piped up cheerfully with an explanation. "I think we need a change of venue for this!"

"Wh-what?" Natsuki stammered, still surprised by the sudden movement. She, however, allowed herself to be led by her friend, not having the mental energy to resist at that time. She wanted to get away from that old student council room, anyway. Mai didn't answer her at first but she guessed they were going back to her room from the direction they were headed. She stumbled a little as Mai increased her pace and Natsuki found herself wondering where she got her energy from.

When they came to a halt in front of the room Mai shared with Mikoto, the other girl turned to her. "I thought it'd be better if we had somewhere private to chat, and I can make you ramen," she punctuated her words with a broad smile.

Mai's cheer was almost infectious but it wasn't quite enough to drown out the pain of the evening's events. She offered her friend a weak smile though, letting her know she didn't disapprove of the idea completely. Apparently happy with that, Mai's smile turned into a grin and she unlocked the door to her room, allowing Natsuki to enter first. As the biker stepped in, she felt comforted by the familiarity of it. Her eyes went to the far end of the room where two single beds sat. One was neatly made, the bed sheets looking crisp and fresh, while the other was in a state of disarray. It was easy to tell who each of the beds belonged to.

After she had closed the door behind them, Mai trotted over to the small kitchen area. She paused behind a spotless counter, following Natsuki's gaze. "Don't worry, Mikoto won't be back for a bit. She's off spending time with Reito tonight."

Natsuki glanced back at her friend. "I wasn't worried," she muttered as she moved over towards the horribly pink couch. She lowered herself onto it and leaned back, relaxing as best she could.

Mai merely smiled at her before turning around to open a cupboard that sat against one wall. "Can I get you a drink? I think we have some sort of green tea in here somewhere. Oh, and there's soda in the fridge."

"T- Uh..." Natsuki had begun to say tea but she stopped herself. Drinking that would only make her think of s.h.i.+zuru and the last thing she needed was to get emotional in front of Mai. Still, it wasn't like she could think of much else at present. "Soda."

Mai peered over her shoulder at the other girl, shooting her a puzzled look, before retrieving a gla.s.s from the cupboard. She pulled open the fridge door, the light inside spilling out onto the tiled floor. The other girl took out a can of c.o.ke and opened it, pouring it into the gla.s.s before dutifully bringing it over to Natsuki. The dark haired student accepted the offered gla.s.s and sipped at it distractedly. Her thoughts were wandering back to s.h.i.+zuru again, even without the presence of tea.

Settling onto the sofa beside Natsuki, Mai peered at her friend, a searching look in her eyes. She gave Natsuki a rea.s.suring smile but that didn't make the biker feel any better about the questions that were about to come. "So, tell me, what has the cool and collected Natsuki all worked up?"

She was sure Mai's words were meant to be light and encouraging, but Natsuki couldn't help but feel they were mocking her now. She opened her mouth to speak but found she couldn't form the words. She found it hard enough to formulate thoughts when it came to feelings, let alone explain it for another person. She certainly wasn't used to sharing those sorts of things with Mai either. Hanging out was another matter. She found the other girl fun to be around and it was always a relief from her darker thoughts but she'd never had the urge to open up her innermost feelings to her.

Mai's smile dropped momentarily as she regarded Natsuki's behaviour. "Come on, you can talk to me about it. I can see something is eating you up inside. It's not healthy if you don't let it out, you know."

Was it really that obvious? Natsuki placed the gla.s.s on the coffee table in front of her before clasping her hands in front of her. She gripped her own hands firmly, trying to force some of the tension in her body into that action. "It's not that easy," was all she could say.

The other girl s.h.i.+fted beside her and leaned forward on the sofa in order to see Natsuki's face a little better. "Why not? All you have to do is let it go."

Natsuki shook her head slowly, the tips of her long hair brus.h.i.+ng against her forearms. "I can't."

A sudden thump to her upper arm startled Natsuki and she stared at Mai in surprise. She punched me! It hadn't been hard but she still hadn't expected it. "Other than the priceless expression, I did that to snap you out of your brooding!" Mai explained.