Giving In Part 3

She recognised that emotion. She'd seen it in those eyes before but it had always been veiled behind a heavy mask. Now, it seemed, s.h.i.+zuru was allowing her too see everything. That realisation almost staggered her. Here I am being all selfish again and she's being completely open with me. She suppressed the sigh that wanted to push its way from her chest and took a step towards the door. She hovered in the doorway and turned to face the other woman.

"Have a good day at school." s.h.i.+zuru smiled at her, her tone soft and caring. Oh to h.e.l.l with it, one won't hurt! With that thought, she leaned in, bracing herself on the door with one hand. She noticed a mildly surprised expression crossing s.h.i.+zuru's face as she closed the distance and placed her mouth against the other woman's. The feeling of those velvet lips moving against hers melted all the doubts swirling in her mind and she allowed herself to fall into the haze of s.h.i.+zuru's scent and warmth. She was vaguely aware that she wasn't leaning against the door any more but was, instead, wrapped in a tight embrace. She murmured into the kiss when she felt the soft probing of s.h.i.+zuru's tongue. The heat and moistness made her heart stutter and her breath hitch.

Just when Natsuki thought the kiss might deepen further, s.h.i.+zuru pulled back, her breathing having quickened and deepened considerably. Natsuki couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment but her head soon cleared and she looked up at s.h.i.+zuru's half smile. She could see the desire within those crimson pools however much the Kyoto woman tried to hide it. She knew her own reflected the image and she pulled back before she had to give in to that need. Being so close to s.h.i.+zuru was just too intoxicating. She needed to leave.

Clearing her throat, she glanced over her shoulder to see if she'd left anything behind. Deciding that she hadn't, she took a few steps to the side and moved around the door, coming to stand in the doorway once more. She took in a few deep breaths of the crisp air that a.s.saulted her senses. It seemed so much more chilled outside now after the moment she'd shared with s.h.i.+zuru. Natsuki felt the other woman's presence at her back and that warmth returned to her instantly with the close proximity. She expected arms to slip around her waist but they didn't come. Instead, she felt a soft pressure against the back of her head and she realised s.h.i.+zuru had placed a kiss there. She felt those lips move and mouth something into raven strands before she backed away.

Natsuki turned slightly and peered over her shoulder at the older woman who merely smiled innocently back at her. She raised a questioning eyebrow but s.h.i.+zuru offered no explanation of her actions so she stepped outside, her boots landing with a low thud on the path. Her eyes roamed up and down the street and noticed it was deserted. Just the way she liked it. Her bike was still awaiting her return at the road and she couldn't help but feel a certain swell of pride whenever she saw it. It was a beautiful motorcycle. To her, at least.

Natsuki took another step forwards and then took one last glance behind her. s.h.i.+zuru leant against the doorframe slightly, one hand resting against the opened door, her gaze following the biker unwaveringly. "Later." She called back to s.h.i.+zuru, a little uncertain now she was walking away. The Kyoto woman raised her free arm and waved, a small smile tugging at her lips. The gesture helped alleviate the worries creeping in around Natsuki's mind and she quickened her step, nodding once to the other woman before focusing her attention on her vehicle.

As she opened up the storage compartment of the motorcycle she heard the click of s.h.i.+zuru's front door closing. She pulled her helmet out from its home and slipped it on over her head, the familiarity comforting her. She then closed the compartment and slid her leg over the body of the Ducati, slipping into her usual sitting position. She slipped the keys into the ignition and turned, firing the beast up and bringing it to life. The motorcycle hummed between her legs and the sensation soothed her. She always felt so much calmer and in control when she was on her bike. With one last glance at the house, she pulled away, knowing that s.h.i.+zuru was still watching her from behind the living room curtain. Always so protective. That thought didn't make her feel uncomfortable though.

She turned into the first corner, her body instinctively s.h.i.+fting to keep balance on the motorcycle. It was second nature to her now, after all the years of riding and she could quite easily drift off into deep thought whilst on her Ducati. In fact, she often did her best thinking when she was traversing long winding roads and speeding around bends. Once she'd found her way to the main road she increased her speed, hoping to cross the distance to school in as short a time as possible. She knew s.h.i.+zuru would hate her taking such risks but she didn't have much choice if she wanted to minimise the damage to her record. Besides, s.h.i.+zuru had been the main cause so she couldn't complain about it if she found out.

That thought made all those doubts she'd been trying to hold at bay come flooding back to her now. It seemed the further she got away from the other woman, the deeper the worries wormed their way into her, making it impossible not to face them. Her grip tightened on the handlebars of the Ducati as she tried to pinpoint the one reason for all her uncertainty. Yesterday had felt so good. So why couldn't she just accept it all and be happy? Trust? Do I have a trust issue with s.h.i.+zuru? She clenched her jaw as she sped through a junction, ignoring the blaring horns of angry drivers. She did steal that kiss from me, after all. Her memory lingered over those events. She had forgiven her for that though, hadn't she? She shook her head. No. That's not it. Besides, it's only fair, isn't it? I stole her heart long before then. As the thoughts pa.s.sed through her mind she realised, without a doubt, that she did trust s.h.i.+zuru. She knew the other woman wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Not intentionally.

Seeing the lights ahead flicker to red she had to brake abruptly, almost throwing herself over the handlebars of her motorcycle. Her body protested the sudden deceleration but she managed to keep herself firmly rooted in place. She let out a haggard breath as the smell of burnt rubber reached her nose. d.a.m.n it! Her thoughts were going to get her seriously hurt if she wasn't careful. Normally, they didn't affect her riding but, perhaps, this subject was too sensitive. She waited impatiently for the light to change, watching with irritation as people meandered over the crossing. What was so special about their lives that they could afford to move so slowly anyway?

As the lights threatened to change to green, she revved the engine of her Ducati, scaring several pedestrian stragglers. Move it! She inwardly growled. Once the crossing was clear, she accelerated abruptly, forcing the front wheel of her bike from the road for a few moments. The engine roared as she directed the vehicle to faster speeds, weaving in between the clumsier cars with ease. If not trust, then what? The question echoed in her mind and her nostrils flared with frustration when the answer didn't come to her immediately. Why can't anything come easily to me? Is it too much to ask to want to be happy for once?

The streets blurred past, the speed and her distraction causing them to all look alike. She looked up at the road signs from time to time to ensure she was still going the correct way. She briefly considered skipping school altogether and taking the day to just think things through. Perhaps she could take a nice ride out to some isolated location and retreat within herself? Would that help her find the answers she seeked? She frowned behind the cover of the helmet, knowing that she couldn't s.h.i.+rk off her responsibilities like that. She didn't have revenge as an excuse any more.

Maybe that's the problem, she found herself thinking. I can't ignore everything anymore. I don't have my mother as my one focus in life. I guess that means I actually have to look at my own life now. She sighed, reducing her speed as she came into another residential zone. And whether I like it or not s.h.i.+zuru's a part of that now. A small smile caused her lips to twitch upwards. She realised she did like the thought of that but there was something else there, something that made her want to run away and escape it all. I'm not alone. I'm not alone anymore.

She was brought out of her thoughts abruptly as she noticed a familiar wooded area and had to veer suddenly before she missed the entrance. She was now going too fast though and the tires ground against twigs and leaves, causing bits of debris to fly up dangerously around Natsuki. She pulled on the brakes and slowed down to a reasonable pace, hoping she hadn't damaged her suspension. That would have been an expensive and stupid mistake to make. She brought the Ducati to a halt at her usual spot, hidden well enough between the trees as to not draw attention from nosy Fuuka students.

As she pulled off her helmet, she noticed her hands were shaking. She stared at them incredulously, stunned at how they had the audacity to tremble. She placed the helmet on top of the motorcycle, between her legs and wondered what had caused that reaction. The b.u.mpy ride couldn't possibly have... And then it hit her. Fear. I'm afraid? I... She wasn't scared of any physical harm coming to her though. It was her thoughts that had stirred that emotion in her. Is that what's holding me back? I'm such a coward, she thought glumly, casting her gaze to the ground. s.h.i.+zuru's done the most courageous thing possible by showing her true self to me and this is all I can do?

It was definitely fear. Fear of giving herself so completely to someone that she had no control over her own emotions, fear of allowing someone in, fear of being so close that she wouldn't be able to live without them. So much fear. She squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to force the thoughts away. Now that she had the answer to her question she wished her mind would shut up. She wasn't used to being scared of anything and the fact that it had anything to do with s.h.i.+zuru made it worse. s.h.i.+zuru was the one thing in her life that she shouldn't a.s.sociate with fear.

She shook her head, feeling her hair brush against her face as she did so. She needed to get to school for now. At least she had made some progress with her doubts. I should speak to s.h.i.+zuru about this. It's not fair to keep her out of the loop. That decision made, she lifted herself from the Ducati and set about getting changed. Her uniform was a little crumpled but she didn't mind too much, she was never concerned about giving a perfect impression to her teachers and fellow students. She glanced around to ensure she was really alone and quickly slipped out of her leathers and into the familiar clothing. She smoothed out the fabric and locked her leathers and helmet away in the storage compartment, pocketing the keys once she was done.

Natsuki quickly marched towards the school building, hoping she wasn't too late. She couldn't see many students around so she a.s.sumed she probably was. Her expression becoming more severe as she walked onwards, she didn't notice someone jogging towards her until a voice called out. She didn't catch what was being said but she turned in the direction the noise had come from and was surprised to see an easily recognisable face.

"Mai?" She questioned, her usual icy tones replaced by surprise.

The redhead smiled warmly and stopped in front of her. "Where have you been?" She asked, worry clouding her voice.

Natsuki raised an eyebrow at the question. It wasn't as if she'd disappeared for days, she'd only been gone for one night. That thought brought an involuntary blush to her cheeks and she quickly looked away in an attempt to hide it. Gah, why did my mind have to go there! "I don't know what you mean." She said quickly, hoping Mai would drop it.

"Natsuki... Are you blus.h.i.+ng!" The other girl asked incredulously.

The biker felt her eye twitch slightly. I don't need this right now, she sighed. "No." She stated firmly but with less agitation than normally accompanied such a reply.

This caused Mai to falter for a moment and she eyed her cla.s.smate suspiciously. "Well, you weren't in cla.s.s so I excused myself to come look for you." She explained, drawing Natsuki's attention once more. "It's not like you. Well, it was like you but not anymore... You know what I mean." She ended with a smirk and Natsuki couldn't help but return it with a small smile.

"I just..." She paused, wondering what she could actually get away with telling her friend. Certainly not the truth by any means. "Slept in." She decided on saying. It wasn't really a lie, after all.

Natsuki shrugged and moved to walk past the other girl but Mai held out an arm to stop her. "Did you forget? You were meant to come around for dinner last night." She asked with a hint of disappointment.

c.r.a.p. Now she was in trouble. She had completely forgotten, with good reason, but it wasn't a reason she could tell Mai about. Sorry Mai, I was too busy having my mind blown by 'Kaichou-san' to be able to come stuff my face with you and Mikoto. Yeah, that would go down well, she inwardly grimaced at the mental image. At Mai's strange expression she realised another flush had overcome her and she inwardly cursed herself. That blush had been her own fault. "I'm sorry." She muttered before walking away uncomfortably.

She heard the patter of Mai's feet against the path and she could tell she was running to catch up with her. "Did I just hear you right?" Came Mai's almost breathless voice. She guessed the surprise had knocked the wind out of her. She almost laughed at that thought. "Did Natsuki just apologise?"

She rolled her eyes even though the redhead couldn't see the gesture. "Don't mock me." She warned grumpily.

Natsuki felt a pressure on her arm and she was forced to stop as Mai tugged her backwards. She turned to face her friend, her brow furrowing in irritation. "What happened to you?" The seriousness of the question caught her unawares and she merely blinked back at her friend.

What did happen to me? She found herself thinking and she tilted her head so she could look up at the sky. The clouds had parted to allow the sun to s.h.i.+ne its magnificence upon the island of Fuuka. The school was bathed in its warmth and she allowed it to flood across her already heated face. I feel... warm. Inside. The sensation spread from its home in her chest and filled her with something that made her feel lighter. She was sure if she moved forwards, her steps wouldn't be as heavy. She was unintentionally smiling now but she couldn't bring herself to care much about it. She wanted to indulge this feeling, if just for a little longer.

"Natsuki!" Mai's exclamation brought her serenity cras.h.i.+ng down around her and she looked at her friend with a stunned expression. "What the... heck!" The abrasive question only proved to further confuse Natsuki and her lips thinned as she tried to discern what the redhead was talking about.

"What?" She finally managed to ask.

"You... you... look all happy!" Mai was now waving her hands about in front of her to emphasise her point.

Natsuki desperately wanted to give the hyped up girl a glare but her muscles refused to heed her wishes and her reddened cheeks would have taken the power out of it anyway. The smile refused to leave so she again turned away, walking as fast as she could to her cla.s.s. I was right, it does feel lighter, she thought. She hoped Mai wouldn't question her further on this, she could just imagine the thoughts going through her mind right now. She probably thought she'd been on a date or something. She wouldn't be totally wrong, I guess.

"Natsuki..." She heard Mai call out to her but kept on her current path. She wondered how long she could go without having to tell her friend something. She didn't take Mai for an idiot, she was sure to pick up on something sooner or later. The fact that she'd spotted something was out of place with her today was proof of that. She wouldn't be able to avoid her so chances were pretty high that she'd see her with s.h.i.+zuru, and she was pretty sure she'd give their relations.h.i.+p away then. s.h.i.+zuru had a way of making her react in ways she didn't want to. Relations.h.i.+p? Did I just think that? What is our relations.h.i.+p? There she was thinking those uncertain things again. I really need to stop that.

She soon found herself in front of the school's main entrance and she had to slow her pace so she could open the door and slip through it. This gave Mai ample opportunity to catch up and continue speaking to her. Before she could open up with another barrage of troublesome questions, Natsuki turned to her, causing both of them to stop in the middle of the hall. "Look, can we just get to cla.s.s and forget about this for now?"

That made Mai pause and she glanced up and down the hall. When she looked back at Natsuki she wore a concerned frown. "So there's something to forget about?"

Natsuki let out a frustrated sigh. "Your logic is annoying, Mai."

The redhead let out a small chuckle and gave her friend a smile. "Fine, fine. But don't think I'll drop this for long. I want all the juicy details later!" She punctuated her sentence with a wide grin and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

In response, Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Don't make it sound so sordid." She continued on her way to her cla.s.sroom, ignoring the giggles from behind her. "Come on."

The day rolled past painfully slowly and Natsuki found her mind drifting off all too often during the course of her cla.s.ses. It seemed all paths led back to s.h.i.+zuru and she'd often been broken from a complex chain of thoughts about the Kyoto woman by an annoyed teacher. More embarra.s.sing was when her memory involuntarily lingered over the previous day's events and she'd find herself being gawked at by an all too interested cla.s.s. What was the point in blus.h.i.+ng anyway? It didn't serve any real purpose, she decided.

Natsuki stretched in her seat and watched as her cla.s.smates filed out of the room. At last, the final bell had rung out and they were free to do as they pleased. A fluttering sensation rose up in her stomach as she thought about meeting s.h.i.+zuru. Am I excited? I'd better not tell her that, she'd never let me live that one down. She felt a little apprehensive about it as well but she really wanted to see s.h.i.+zuru. She missed the way that her company had made her feel. The day apart had given her time to cool off and think clearly but it had made her feel as though something was missing too. That concerned her a little. Have I become so dependent already? Maybe this is normal if I...

A gentle coughing brought her attention back to the cla.s.sroom and she looked up to see her teacher politely trying to hint for her to leave. She narrowed her eyes slightly at her, causing the middle-aged woman to shuffle uncomfortably at the doorway. She was pretty sure she was coming to an important realisation there and the History teacher had ruined it. Ah well, it can wait. She stood and collected her belongings, throwing them carelessly into her bag. She strode over to the door, without giving the woman another look, and out into the hall.

Making her way past groups of students who were busy gossiping, Natsuki wondered where she was supposed to meet s.h.i.+zuru. They had never actually agreed upon a place or a time. She frowned. This is just great. How could I forget to ask that? She briefly pondered returning to her motorcycle and waiting there as s.h.i.+zuru knew that was where she parked it. Wait, she said she had to meet with some administration people so I guess she'll be at the school office. With a destination now in mind, she moved forward with greater purpose.

Although she was now used to the admiring glances and stares she received from her school mates, today they seemed to annoy her more than usual. She seemed acutely aware of the leers the boys threw her way and the suggestive jokes they thought she couldn't hear. As the anger bubbled up inside her she started shooting glares at each of them as she pa.s.sed them by. This belongs to s.h.i.+zuru dammit! She froze. Was that really what was bothering her? Her irate mind had just thrown out that statement but she had no idea where it had come from. Do... I... really..? She shook her head, determined not to overthink it.

She soon found herself at the administrative office of the school and she knocked firmly on the door. After a few moments it was opened and a fairly young looking man in a suit peered out at her. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Natsuki regarded him for a moment before answering. "Yeah, I'm looking for s.h.i.+- Fujino s.h.i.+zuru. She here?"

He stared back at her from behind thin rimmed gla.s.ses. "Oh yes, Fujino-san was here but I'm afraid you just missed her." He said apologetically.

She frowned. "Okay. Thanks." She shrugged and turned to leave.

"She said she was going to have a quick look around to see how the repairs had come along though." He called after her, causing her to stop and face him once more.

s.h.i.+zuru had graduated whilst the repairs on the school were taking place so she hadn't seen the finished result. She'd been far too busy with arranging University and her new cla.s.ses to come visit the school. "Thanks." She muttered and walked away. Where would she go? She wondered. Then it struck her; she knew exactly where she'd go. s.h.i.+zuru could be as much a creature of habit as she was.

She quickened her pace and navigated the long corridors of the school, her feet taking her on a familiar route, one she had walked many times over the years. It felt somewhat nostalgic walking it again, as if she'd gone back in time and she could almost fool herself into believing that she'd find that same girl behind that door. But she'd be lying to herself. s.h.i.+zuru had changed as had she. Or perhaps she hadn't changed but now Natsuki knew the true s.h.i.+zuru, not the one that hid behind smiles and friends.h.i.+ps. She was glad of it though.

Now she stood in front of that door, uncertainty gnawing at her. Her hand hovered above the door k.n.o.b and she irrationally feared what she might find on the other side. I'm just being stupid, she's probably not even here. She knew this room was being used as a regular office now and not the Student Council room it once had been. She wasn't sure who used it as an office though. She swallowed her doubts and twisted the handle, opening the door slowly and silently.

She paused in the doorway, the sight before her causing her heart to skip a few beats. It was uncannily familiar to one she had seen so many times before. The layout of the room had been kept largely the same, the damage to the structure repaired as if it had never happened. The tables were set out in much the same way. The biggest change was the high back leather chair that sat behind the desk at the top of the room. s.h.i.+zuru's desk. The occupant of that chair was what drew her attention though. There sat s.h.i.+zuru, hands clasped in front of her, elbows resting on the tabletop, eyes closed. She seemed to be in deep thought and the breeze from the open window caused stray strands of chestnut to flutter across her peaceful features.

She was the epitome of calm. The only thing that broke the illusion of the past coming back to haunt her was the clothing s.h.i.+zuru was wearing. She wore a dark blue business suit with a white blouse. Just like her to show up in a suit for a silly meeting, she inwardly snorted. It did fit her curves nicely though and she regretted not giving that man back at administration more of a hard time. I just bet he had a nice view, she thought bitterly.

The nostalgia didn't leave her as she quietly closed the door behind her and walked over to the table. She was surprised s.h.i.+zuru hadn't reacted to her presence yet but perhaps she was lost in thought and memories. The room had a similar effect on Natsuki after all. She slid onto the desk, much like she had done in the past, her back facing the Kyoto woman. She twisted slightly so she could peer down at her, eyes drifting over the spot that should have held the laptop.

Crimson appeared from behind fluttering eyelids and s.h.i.+zuru looked up in surprise from the slight movement in the table. The calm expression faltered and her eyes clouded with a mixture of emotions. Natsuki could see the pain there that she'd hoped to have dispelled forever and it stung at her chest. She could also see that one constant that always remained in those pools. Love. It always made her feel warm whenever she saw it and now she could identify it she felt almost overwhelmed. Can she see the same in my eyes?

"Hey." She whispered, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth as she leaned back on one hand, allowing her dark hair to spill over her left shoulder.

s.h.i.+zuru returned the smile and lifted her chin from her hands a little. "Natsuki found me." She stated simply, her voice soft and hushed.

Natsuki nodded. "Just returning the favour." She wanted to chuckle at the confusion that washed over the older woman's features. Natsuki was able to talk in layers as well, she just chose not to most of the time. I'm not going to elaborate though, she doesn't need to know everything yet. "Nothing." She continued when the expression didn't budge.

One curved eyebrow arched further upwards and s.h.i.+zuru gave her a bemused smile before unclasping her hands and resting her palms on the table. "How was Natsuki's day?" She asked, relenting to Natsuki's stubborness at not wanting to explain herself.

Emerald eyes dropped away from s.h.i.+zuru's at the question, guilt edging into them. She felt bad for witholding the doubts she'd been having from the other woman but she'd hardly understood them herself so how could she be expected to explain them to another person? She had some semblance of an answer now but that didn't mean it'd be any easier to talk about it. "Oh, you know, the usual." She muttered, her voice dropping even lower.

If s.h.i.+zuru picked up on her change of mood she didn't outwardly show it. Instead, the smile remained and she rested her fingers over Natsuki's left hand. The biker stared down at where their hands touched, a tingling sensation spreading across her skin there. She took in a deep breath, feeling somewhat relieved but she didn't know why. Perhaps it was because they were together again. She looked back up at the elegant contours of s.h.i.+zuru's face, noticing her crimson gaze had lowered. She followed it and her cheeks flushed when she realised s.h.i.+zuru was staring at her exposed thigh.

"O-oi!" Her raspy voice brought s.h.i.+zuru's eyes back to hers. "I'm up here." She growled, a hint of amus.e.m.e.nt blending with the embarra.s.sed tone. s.h.i.+zuru smirked at her sheepishly.

"Kanin na." She murmured, her tone dropping a little. "It's easy to forget this isn't... back then." She motioned to the rest of the room with her free hand.

Natsuki nodded, knowing exactly what the other woman meant. "That's no reason for you to..." She looked away from s.h.i.+zuru's curious eyes. "You know."

A low chuckle rose from the Kyoto woman which only caused her to blush further. "That is not what I meant." She squeezed Natsuki's hand rea.s.suringly. "Natsuki is simply very alluring. It can't be helped."

Natsuki's eyes widened slightly at the comment and her head snapped around to stare at the other woman. "Sh-s.h.i.+zu..." She stopped abruptly at seeing the mischievous grin. She fell into it every time and she knew she would continue to. She huffed indignantly and decided to change the subject. "Why are you here anyway?" She asked a little grumpily.

A gentle thumb pad brushed across the back of her hand causing a little s.h.i.+ver to creep down her spine. "I felt like indulging my melancholy, you could say."

Natsuki's brow furrowed at her words. She intensely disliked the idea of s.h.i.+zuru feeling sad in any way. She leant back a little more, bringing her left knee up onto the table and twisting her body further so she could get closer to the other woman. "I'd rather you didn't." She said sincerely.

s.h.i.+zuru gave her a lopsided smile and tilted her head a little. "This room holds many pleasant memories though, Natsuki. It's nice to remember those."

"I guess." Even though they'd spent quite a bit of time together here in this room it was mostly under false pretenses, on both of their parts. She'd usually come here in search of information and s.h.i.+zuru had always pretended to seek nothing more than familiarity. Her emerald eyes hardened with determination and she hopped off the desk, s.h.i.+zuru's gaze following her. She walked around the desk and leant against it at the older woman's side, right beside her chair. She looked deep into those crimson orbs. "Let's make some new memories. Better ones?" Her low voice was unwavering and it shocked even herself.

s.h.i.+zuru's eyes widened perceptibly and her lips parted slightly in surprise. She clasped her hands back in front of her and peered up at the raven-haired beauty for a while. Finally, she broke the silence. "What brought this on?"

d.a.m.n her perceptiveness! Why can't she just accept what I say? Natsuki let out a small sigh, resigned to the fact that she'd need to speak her mind sooner or later. "I've been thinking..." She started, ensuring s.h.i.+zuru was looking at her. "Just, you know, about us... and stuff." That was lame.

"Oh?" Came the patient reply.

Natsuki shrugged. Why was this so hard? "Yeah. You know how I am. I overthink." She grunted but s.h.i.+zuru merely smiled back at her. "I... I hate not... not knowing how I feel all the time." She tried to explain and had realised it hadn't come out particularly well when s.h.i.+zuru's smile dropped a little. "N-no... I, uh..." d.a.m.n it!

"It's alright. Natsuki does not need to explain." s.h.i.+zuru said soothingly though there was the slightest hint of a quiver in her voice.

"No, I do!" Natsuki insisted. "I've left you in the dark long enough." s.h.i.+zuru's lips moved slightly and she thought she might protest but she remained silent. Natsuki wondered if she'd caught her off guard. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff, as you know, but I'll try." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them once more. "I'm scared. Really scared. I've never been this close to anyone and that frightens the h.e.l.l outta me." There. I've said it. "And that doesn't mean I don't trust you, s.h.i.+zuru, because I do. Utterly and completely. I just... well, I guess I can't explain it. It must be one of those irrational fears." She babbled on but a hand on her knee made her pause and her gaze dropped down to those slender fingers.

"I understand." s.h.i.+zuru's melodious voice calmed her completely and she breathed a sigh of relief. "We can take this slow if Natsuki wishes it. I will back off if I must."

Natsuki found herself drowning under that intense crimson gaze, the compa.s.sion there was both soothing and painful to see. Can't you just ask for what you want for a change? I'm not good at guessing what that is. "N-no. I don't want that. I mean, I wish you'd just tell me what you wanted, you know. Stop trying to think about me all the time."

The hand on her knee slid ever so slowly up her leg to her thigh where the muscles beneath it tensed. "I want you." s.h.i.+zuru's gaze darkened as she spoke but it was even and Natsuki had never been so certain she was telling the truth. "That's all I've ever wanted."

The biker chewed on her lower lip as a fresh blush rushed to her cheeks. She hadn't expected s.h.i.+zuru to be so direct with her, she was used to her being evasive. She was even more surprised to see that rare hue of pink that coloured the other woman's face. She's taking that chance again, risking it all to be honest with me. I owe her the same. Natsuki leaned down, somewhat awkwardly with the height she had over the Kyoto woman, and brought her face close to s.h.i.+zuru's. Ignoring the surprise that registered in crimson orbs, she pressed her lips against the other woman's gently.

Fingers dug into the skin of her thigh as s.h.i.+zuru returned the kiss, soft shaking lips moving slowly. As their mouths slid against one another's, Natsuki felt herself sigh. It gave her that same euphoric sensation she'd experienced before and she felt it unrestrained now that she'd been able to face her doubts a little. Natsuki opened her mouth and her tongue swept out across those full trembling lips, eliciting a restricted gasp from s.h.i.+zuru. She could feel the emotion simmering within the other woman now, she could taste it along with the sweetness of her lips.

As her tongue lightly touched s.h.i.+zuru's, she felt a tingling awaken her nerves. Her hands itched just under the skin and she knew she had to feel the heat of the other woman's skin or it would never be alleviated. Pangs of desire swirled in the pit of her stomach, fanning the fluttering that had slowly built up there. In the next moment, she felt strong, protective arms around her and she was pulled from the table and into a tight embrace, their bodies crushed together. She moaned into the kiss at the feeling of s.h.i.+zuru pressed into her.

But why is she shaking? She realised every inch of the Kyoto woman trembled beneath her and she pulled back from the kiss breathlessly. Her brow furrowed in concern when she saw s.h.i.+zuru's watery eyes and open expression. She had never seemed so vulnerable before. It was then Natsuki realised s.h.i.+zuru was as much caged by her own emotions as she was, both of them having built up their personal prisons over time. A tightness in her chest gripped her and she felt as though she had to say something now before the moment pa.s.sed, before this awareness was lost forever.

"I give myself completely to you, s.h.i.+zuru. Whether I crumble or find freedom, only you have the power to decide that." She almost whispered, her hands moving up over the other woman's shoulders and into the hair at the back of her head. Tears spilled unbidden past the dam that had held them in place for so long and dark crimson disappeared for a moment behind long lashes as s.h.i.+zuru tried to regain her composure. Natsuki took the opportunity to pull her into a fierce hug, coaxing the older woman's head into the safety of her neck.

She heard a soft sob escape the other woman's lips and felt the vibration of it against the sensitive skin of her neck. She stroked the silky tresses beneath her fingers soothingly, finding the gesture came naturally to her even if she hadn't been used to these kinds of situations. "Na... tsu..." The disjointed sounds caused the biker to release the tight hold she had on s.h.i.+zuru and the other woman pulled back a little so she could look at her. "I..."

"Shh." Natsuki soothed. "It's okay. You don't need to say anything." She found herself smiling and it seemed to ease s.h.i.+zuru's tears.

"Oh, Natsuki." s.h.i.+zuru murmured, her expression filled with such overwhelmingly raw emotion that the biker had to take a quick intake of breath to stop her head from spinning. "I love you so very much... so much..." Her grip tightened on Natsuki as she spoke, almost painfully so. Her stomach did a quick flip as she heard those words and that swelling sensation in her chest returned.

And then they were kissing again, all the emotion and pa.s.sion from the previous moments causing their lips to move with heated fervor. Her hands dropped from their home in s.h.i.+zuru's hair and roamed her curves, attempting to find a way around the barriers to her skin. Teeth grazed her bottom lip and she let out a surprised exhale of air when they bit down playfully. s.h.i.+zuru's fingers found their way quickly under her top and trailed fire across the muscles of her back. Natsuki whimpered at the light caresses, her own hands fumbling with the suit jacket's b.u.t.tons.

She pulled back from the kiss, her chest rising and falling with great speed. She glared down at the b.u.t.tons of the jacket, wondering what idiot had designed them to be so resistant to her manipulation. She glanced back up at s.h.i.+zuru's face, noting how dilated her pupils were. She decided she'd never grow tired of seeing the reaction she could cause in the other woman. The pa.s.sion fuelled haze lifted from her for a moment and she remembered where they both were. Feeling another blush rise up within her she glanced at the door. It was still closed.

Natsuki's attention was brought back to s.h.i.+zuru when she noticed her s.h.i.+fting in the chair. She lifted herself off the other woman, dropping down to kneel on the floor. s.h.i.+zuru pulled something from her jacket pocket and pushed the chair back before standing. Natsuki looked up at her and she couldn't hide the disappointment in her expression. s.h.i.+zuru smirked back at her and dangled something from her forefinger, metal catching in the light from the window.

"If I know the school administration like I think I do, they wont have offered up the expenses to change the locks." s.h.i.+zuru explained as she took the set of keys to the door. Natsuki's confusion cleared when the Kyoto woman slipped a key into the door and locked it with a click. s.h.i.+zuru turned and leaned against the cool wood for a moment, the smirk still present. "There we go. No interruptions."

Heat rose up inside Natsuki and not just from the blush the other woman's words caused. She watched intently as s.h.i.+zuru sashayed back towards her, eyes lingering over long toned legs and swaying hips. How can she look so... so... s.e.xy without even trying! She inwardly wondered. Natsuki realised her mouth was hanging open slightly so she quickly snapped it shut and tilted her head backwards to look up into the face of her companion. The smirk had dropped from her elegant features and s.h.i.+zuru peered back at her, hunger burning behind crimson orbs. The intensity of it caused her to swallow, hard. Eyes never leaving her, s.h.i.+zuru offered her a hand which she immediately took without thought. She was pulled up and led to the leather chair before being gently nudged into it. It was soft and comfortable, more than it looked.

The older woman kneeled down in front of her, pus.h.i.+ng her body in between Natsuki's legs, hands snaking around her waist. Her cheeks flushed at the intimate position. "Sh-s.h.i.+zuru... your knees. They'll get..." She stopped herself from saying anything further. Your knees? That sounded so dumb. Well done, Natsuki!

s.h.i.+zuru smiled up at the biker. "Don't worry about me. I'm content with where I am." With that said, she pulled on Natsuki's waist, effectively sliding her forward in the seat and closer to the other woman. Their mouths met once more in a heated kiss. Natsuki parted s.h.i.+zuru's lips with her tongue and slowly caressed the sweetness within. The older woman willingly allowed her to explore unhindered for a while, hands slipping under her school uniform to their previous position at her back. When s.h.i.+zuru's tongue pressed back against hers, Natsuki whimpered into her mouth and grasped at the stubborn suit jacket once more.

Now that she wasn't pressed so close against the other woman's body she could get to grips with the b.u.t.tons more easily. She popped them out of the holes and smiled smugly as the jacket sprung open. s.h.i.+zuru pulled back and c.o.c.ked an eyebrow at the satisfied expression awaiting her. Choosing to ignore the questioning look, Natsuki slid the jacket off of s.h.i.+zuru's shoulders and watched it crumple to the ground. The white blouse beneath it clung nicely to the older woman's torso and Natsuki could make out her curves perfectly. That didn't stop her from hastily going to work on the blouse's b.u.t.tons though.

s.h.i.+zuru glanced down at the hands at her chest and back up to their owner, an amused glint in her eyes. She seemed a little surprised at Natsuki's avidity. Once the biker had completely unb.u.t.toned the item of clothing, she let it hang open, revealing a sliver of creamy flesh and a white bra. When she peered back at s.h.i.+zuru's face, she caught the amused expression. Giving her a lopsided grin, she muttered, "Once I decide on something, I'm not one to go into it half-a.s.sed."

A throaty chuckle erupted from s.h.i.+zuru at her words and she couldn't help but blush. "Natsuki is so cute." She managed after her mirth had died down. Natsuki squirmed in the chair a little but didn't pull away. Just as she was about to voice a protest s.h.i.+zuru captured her lips, effectively silencing her. The kiss turned from slow and teasing to heated and needy quickly. The taste of the older woman caused a surge of desire to shoot down to the pit of her stomach and she felt a low growl rise up in the back of her throat. She wrapped her arms around s.h.i.+zuru's shoulders and pulled her body against her roughly.