The Guilt Of Chrysanthemum 5 Anahaw's Assurance

I have never thought of falling in love with someone. Maybe because I know that as a princess, it is a duty to be extra careful in choosing a partner. One wrong decision and it'll make everything miserable. I hope one day I could find the person that can understand and care for me, to be with me even if I don't seem too much lady-like and romantic type of a person. I had suitors but all of them gave up because they think that I don't want to go into a relations.h.i.+p or I am too boring and not that girly.

I put down my pen and gazed at my window. I saw Magnus practicing with the other knights. He looks so intimidating when he's holding a sword. He threw off his armor and I was mesmerized with his chocolate muscled arms. Why does everything with this man looks so good?

I saw Breath entered my room. I immediately get my pen back and thought of the next word for my sentence.

"Here milady, your favorite during this winter." she said. It's black tea.

"Thank you, Breath." I said and she looked at the window.

Uh-oh. "Sir Magnus is quite handsome, isn't he?" Breath said and looked at me grinning.

"Maybe?" I replied and by the looks on her face, she is not believing my answer.

"Really? Must be a nice person too." she said and looked back outside. I glanced at the window and saw that Magnus looked at me. He bowed and smiled then continued on his practice.

"See? He must be a good person." Breath said.

"What is it, Breath?" I said to her and she sat down on my table, still smiling.

"I don't know, milady. Maybe you need to go out and open yourself up to not just practicing and paper works but also to love." she said. "Maybe it could lead you to stop your---"

"Breath, come on. Don't do this." I sighed and put my pen down again.

She halted. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry" she said. "I'm going to take my leave now. I hope you finish your poetry."

I am very much aware that I have no grudge against my brother but it is about some things that he does and how I am not capable of pus.h.i.+ng through my opinions without real hard occurance or evidence to make him understand and agree.

This plan could make everything change. The perspectives and stereotypes could be altered and some women could feel that they can become who they really want to be.

I again requested to my brother to join but I was still not allowed.

"Milady, please understand that your brother is protecting you. He doesn't want you to be harmed in any ways." Magnus said. I sighed and nodded.

I was about to go when I felt a hand wrapped on my arm.

"Uh.. nothing. I'm sorry."

"N-no, it's fine. Good luck." I said and he instantly smiled. "I hope you all come back here safe and sound." I added and went back to my room.

I dumped by head on my pillow. Why did my heart beat got so loud and felt heavy when Magnus reached on my arm? Are they going to be fine?

"Are you alright, milady?" Breath asked and sat down on my side.

I looked at her. "Yeah, i'm just a bit tired." I said. She nodded and bid good night.

Maybe i'm opening my heart up too much.